Non-viable baby, born alive -parent won't hold him, what do you do?

[enfermeraSG]

OK, so here's what happened - and it's not the first time we've had this dilemma. We had a pt come in with severe, unmedicated schizophrenia, homeless, and imminently going to deliver a 21-22wk baby. Well, she delivered the baby and he was alive. He lived for 3hrs. The pt only held the baby for a few moments and wanted us to take him away. To make a long story short, another coworker and I took turns so he wouldn't be alone for those 3 long hours.

What does your facility do in that situation - when a baby is not viable, but born alive, and the parent(s) don't want to hold the baby? I mean, this was a perfect little 1 lb baby, pink with a heartbeat. We couldn't just leave him on the counter in our back room and occassionally check for a heartbeat so time of death could be recorded. (!) At least, I couldn't. Anyway, just wondering how other units handle this. thanks, SG

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

The mothers I know who have actually experienced such a loss do not consider it a sick and grotesque mockery, they cherish and treasure the time they had to hold their child, however premature or whatever the deformity. They do not consider it sentimentality, but their only chance to hold and love the baby they hoped and prayed for. And the mothers I have spoken to who chose not to hold their diapered and dressed baby (I don't know anyone who has suffered such a loss who persists in calling it a fetus) have universally expressed regret for not saying goodbye to their child in the way they now wish they would have.

Of course I would never presume to judge any parent's reaction in such a circumstance, but I don't think that most mothers in that position see dressing and holding their baby as sentimentality, but rather love.

Shannon

Edited to add: for the medical professionals, treating a baby who has been born deformed or previable with respect is simply the humane thing to do, not an act of sentimentality.

I appreciate your post - I'm acquainted with a couple who found out they were pregnant with a child who had multiple birth defects incompatable with life outside the womb. They chose to carry their child to term. The mother gave birth lady partslly. They held their child until it's last breath. Sex was indeterminate at birth. They treasure that time.

steph