L&D Nurses who have no living children

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

I'm really drawn to babies and labor and delivery. When I was first pregnant several years ago I read TONS of books and decided I really wanted to be a midwife one day. I lost that pregnancy at 23 weeks and it was very devastating for me. When I graduated from nursing school I went into ICU instead of L&D because my wounds still felt fresh and I didn't want to feel jealous of my patients -- I wanted to feel happy for their new additions.

So, more than a few years have gone by and I got a GREAT job on a wonderful L&D unit. I'm in the orientation this week -- just the one where human resources goes over everything with you. I haven't even worked on the unit yet.

I just found out my baby died a couple days ago (I was 10 weeks pregnant). This was my husband and mine's second pregnancy. I am really devastated.

I honestly think I'd be a GREAT L&D nurse. I've got all the critical thinking and multi-tasking skills of an ICU nurse but I'm also really kind and good at explaining things and making people comfortable. I just don't want to be sad or emotional about my work because of my person life and frustrations.

I'm supposed to be back in my orientation seat tomorrow at 8am.

I know no one here can tell me what to do, but I just wanted to write out my thoughts and maybe get some experiences or feedback. Thanks so much.

That is what we are here for and you would be surprised how many of us have gone through similar situations. It hurts and can get depressing, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you all the best and please keep us posted about what you decide...k?

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I started labor & delivery as a tech, approximately 9 months after a devastating loss at 23 weeks (a girl). I didn't think I would be able to handle it, however, it was at another hospital in another state from where I lost my daughter. Since then I had another 6 week loss approximately 8 years later (and no children). It was difficult as well ( to say the least). What I have found is that these experiences, although very difficult have helped me to be much more compassionate with my patients who go through similar or seemingly worse difficulties. My co-workers (and unknowingly) my patients have been a source of strength to me.

As I also have infertility issues as well, I am now almost 40 with no biological children, but a wonderful 10 year old son through adoption. The pain of my losses has never really diminished, however I have developed better coping skills. I think sometimes that being there for my patients who are going through similar experiences has been a gift that many in labor and delivery would not be able to give.

Everyone is different, but I would encourage you to give l&d a try, especially if you have any inkling that you have a passion for this area. You may find that with support, this may be therapeutic for you as well as others.

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Specializes in OB L&D Mother/Baby.

First of all I'm very sorry for your losses. I work in L&D and have had two miscarriages this year. I can honestly say that the only "good" I can think of with this rough year is that I can identify much more with my patients that have losses themselves. It can be really rough however. I do wonder what I've done to NOT deserve a baby when others seem to not appreciate their little blessings.

It was extremely hard for me to return to work after my miscarriage. I actually carried my baby for 3 weeks after I found out that he had died. It was very heart wrenching for me to be on a unit where there were moms and babies and big brothers and sisters and I knew I was pregnant with a baby I would never hold or nurse. After I finally decided on a d&c my OB told me to take as much time as I needed. I took about a week and a half off and when I went back it was VERY difficult for me to do l&d... I work in a smaller unit and actually stuck more to nursery (my coworkers were nice enough to NOT to mother/baby care while I was there, because it was soooo hard for me to deal with moms).

Let yourself heal, really think about what is best for YOU... If you feel like you can and want to work in L&D I see no reason that you cannot. My own OB doc had several losses before she finally adopted, two of the nurses I work with had infertility/loss issues for years and they are all some of the best caring nurses I know. Good luck to you.:icon_hug:

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I wanted to thank everyone again for your sympathies and well wishes. I'm doing better. I had a D&E today and it went well and I feel very relieved that it's over. I was having a very hard time with the idea of carrying a dead fetus.

My husband and I had a prayer service together today and we also named the baby. I'm starting my unit orientation tomorrow and I'm actually looking forward to it.

Thanks again

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

My continued best wishes go with you.

I am glad that you and your husband had a memorial service, even if it was only the two of you, and I'm glad you named your baby. You have a concrete name to grieve.

You will be a very compassionate, sympathetic nurse for your patients experiencing their own losses. Thanks for sharing.

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I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts. I am only a pre-nursing student but hope to be in L&D someday. I also suffered a loss at 21 weeks (a baby girl) and I think that loss has driven me to want to help others who have suffered such pain. I'm sure the weeks ahead will be difficult for you but I hope that you will find the strength to find your drive again. Take care & ((huggs))

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I think you could still have a lot of gifts to offer your patients. I'm sure some of them will be very difficult and some of them will be very rewarding. I wish, when I had lost my son, that someone there had been through it before and could really empathize with me. Think of those mothers who lose their babies who you can truly say to them, "I can understand your pain." :o I think that is a really special gift you can offer from yourself.

Really think about what you can handle. If you want to continue than I think you should.

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Specializes in ob; nicu.

I am so sorry for your loss. With that being said, I feel like you could help a lot of women who will go through what you did. A mother that is about to deliver a stillborn may appreciate your experience. Hang in there and good luck. An early loss is most definatly still a loss. My thoughts are with you.

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