How often are the Dads prosecuted?

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

It is not uncommon in two of our inner city hospitals to see Moms that are 14 or 15, and it isn't rare to have them at 13 or even 12. I would say that at least 75% of the Dads are 18 or over (that's an observation, not a statistic). Yet only once in a while is he in jail for statutory rape, or for that matter under court order to provide support. Why is that? I would have to say that more of the men who've impregnated the 12 year olds (who were only 11 upon becoming pregnant in many cases) are in jail, but even if you're 18, it is pretty disgusting to be having sex with a 14 year old. I don't understand why we as a society carry on about all the financial costs of provding support for these young families but don't bring all the pressure the law has to bear on the young men to face the consequences of their actions. (Of course, I also don't understand why the government doesn't come down harder on dead beat parents of both genders and all ages, either, but that's for another thread.........)

Specializes in Medical/Surgical/Maternal and Child.

My husband of 25 years left us and my teen daughter who was very close to him took it very hard and acted out by being influenced by the gang element in our city. Boy did I go through a living hell with her between 14 and 16 yrs of age with her ending up pregnant at 15 by her 18 yr old boyfriend. But I did get her away from the gang influence. At first I was terribly upset about her pregnancy and encouraged her to put the baby up for adoption. Well she is adopted and although we have given her a loving home, she still wonders about her biological parents and just did not want to put her baby through that. She opted to keep the baby. Now, I'm in no way condoning teen pregnancy but the pregnancy was probably the best thing that could have happened to her. I told her that I would support her decision and help her in whatever way I could, but only if she finishes high school and goes on to college. The pregnancy turned her completely around and she is in a program for teen moms where they can take their babies to school with them. She's struggling but she's doing a good job and even has a part time job. Not to mention that we have the most beautiful grandson and the baby's dad and parents are very much involved with the baby. My husband eventually returned and we are a family again. She still lives with us and between us and the baby's other grandparents we baby sit and are loving every minute of it. But my daughter is one of the lucky ones because we have given her alot of love and support.

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My husband of 25 years left us and my teen daughter who was very close to him took it very hard and acted out by being influenced by the gang element in our city. Boy did I go through a living hell with her between 14 and 16 yrs of age with her ending up pregnant at 15 by her 18 yr old boyfriend. But I did get her away from the gang influence. At first I was terribly upset about her pregnancy and encouraged her to put the baby up for adoption. Well she is adopted and although we have given her a loving home, she still wonders about her biological parents and just did not want to put her baby through that. She opted to keep the baby. Now, I'm in no way condoning teen pregnancy but the pregnancy was probably the best thing that could have happened to her. I told her that I would support her decision and help her in whatever way I could, but only if she finishes high school and goes on to college. The pregnancy turned her completely around and she is in a program for teen moms where they can take their babies to school with them. She's struggling but she's doing a good job and even has a part time job. Not to mention that we have the most beautiful grandson and the baby's dad and parents are very much involved with the baby. My husband eventually returned and we are a family again. She still lives with us and between us and the baby's other grandparents we baby sit and are loving every minute of it. But my daughter is one of the lucky ones because we have given her alot of love and support.
you are a wonderful mother, grandmother & caregiver. I hope many other young mothers have a support system like the one you have established. Red roses to you....
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you have touched on one of my biggest fears. If my daughter were in a situation such as this, I would go after the man involved- tooth and nail......The only way justice is served, is if the parents of the pregnant teens get involved. I know where my daughter is all the time and proud of it...

This is a great fear for me also! In the last month I have had 2 patients age 14 & 16, and dads were 20 & 21. Sometimes I find it hard not to be judgemental, but knowing that My daughter is 14 and I know where she is and who she is with at all times. I wonder "where were these mother?", And why were charges not filed. He would be under the jail if it were up to me and my husband.

:uhoh3:

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Specializes in Emergency Dept, M/S.
My husband of 25 years left us and my teen daughter who was very close to him took it very hard and acted out by being influenced by the gang element in our city. Boy did I go through a living hell with her between 14 and 16 yrs of age with her ending up pregnant at 15 by her 18 yr old boyfriend. But I did get her away from the gang influence. At first I was terribly upset about her pregnancy and encouraged her to put the baby up for adoption. Well she is adopted and although we have given her a loving home, she still wonders about her biological parents and just did not want to put her baby through that. She opted to keep the baby. Now, I'm in no way condoning teen pregnancy but the pregnancy was probably the best thing that could have happened to her. I told her that I would support her decision and help her in whatever way I could, but only if she finishes high school and goes on to college. The pregnancy turned her completely around and she is in a program for teen moms where they can take their babies to school with them. She's struggling but she's doing a good job and even has a part time job. Not to mention that we have the most beautiful grandson and the baby's dad and parents are very much involved with the baby. My husband eventually returned and we are a family again. She still lives with us and between us and the baby's other grandparents we baby sit and are loving every minute of it. But my daughter is one of the lucky ones because we have given her alot of love and support.

The pregnancy may have helped turn things around, but I think you did the bulk of it with your attitude toward it. You made her realize the importance of education, which is 90% of the battle. I had a friend in the same situation. She became pregnant at 16, quit school and got married. Just recently that daughter she had at 16 became pregnant. My friend KNEW the score - and encouraged her to finish school and go to college if she decided to keep the baby. She is doing just that.

I'm glad things have worked out for your family. Your family is lucky to have such a wonderful, caring mother! :)

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