Another Resume/Cover Letter critique please

  1. Cover Letter:

    My name (DO I PUT "RN" AFTER MY NAME HERE??)

    Hospital Info

    Dear Ms. XX,

    I am applying for the Registered Nurse-Medical Surgical Float Pool position advertised on your companies website. I had the opportunity to work with several of your float nurses during my senior practicum on unit X, whom recommended that I apply to your department post graduation. My preceptor, X also encouraged me to seek a float position so I was pleased to learn of this opening and feel that I am an excellent candidate.

    It would be an honor to begin my nursing career at a hospital that is recognized by U.S. News Health as the #3 best hospitals in the state of (blah). As a nurse in your facility, I will bring my experience of leadership, working with diverse communities, a passion for health promotion, and my education that has focused on providing excellence and safe patient care to those in the community. I have gained a wealth of knowledge during my practicum on a med/surg floor, resulting in a stronger ability to stay organized, communicate and collaborate with my patients, as well as with other healthcare members to ensure efficient continuity of care.

    I am a recent graduate of (some school) where I obtained my Associate Degree in Nursing (ADN). I passed my nursing boards on July 8, 2013 and I am registered to begin my RN-BSN program at (some school) this fall.

    I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to further discuss how my qualifications may align with your medical surgical position. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

    Thank you for your time and consideration.


    ginnym1981, RN (PUT RN AFTER MY NAME HERE?!?)

    I really was referred to this position by numerous float nurses AND my preceptor went and talked to her (gave her my name) on my last day after I left.
    I thought it would catch the nurse managers attn if I mentioned it BUT, I do not like how I have it written. Any suggestions are much appreciated!

    Resume: (I wish I could have it formatted like I actually have it)

    Obtain a position as a registered nurse on a medical-surgical unit, requiring a professional with relevant clinical exposure, excellent patient relations skills and the ability to work effectively in a team setting.

    Some School. Somewhere in the US Enrolled September 2013

    • RN to BSN Program for Registered Nurses

    Some School. Somewhere in the US June 2013

    • Associates of Applied Science Degree Program (ADN), GPA: 3.78
    • Senior Practicum: 156 hours, Surgical Unit. Hospital name. City/St
    • Acute Care: 110 hours, Cardiac med/surg floor. 90 hours, Respiratory med/surg floor. Hospital. City/St
    • Acute Care: 56 hours, general med/surg floor. Hospital. City/St
    • Pediatrics: 32 hours. Hospital. City/St
    • Mental Health: 30 hours. City/St
    • Long Term Care: 99 hours. Facility. City/St
    • Head Start: 20 hours. City/St

    Professional Experience

    Administrative Assistant
    . Business name. City/st 2001-2005 & 2005-2012
    Book Keeper. Business name. City/st April 2005-September 2005
    Shift Manager. Business name. City/st 1997-2002

    Certifications (sorry, not sure why this is in a box)
    Registered Nurse. X State Board of Nursing. License # blah blah Current
    Certified Nurse Assistant 2. X State Board of Nursing. License # blah blah Current
    BLS for Healthcare Providers. American Heart Association. Current

    Affiliations and Activities

    Student Nurses Association. Treasurer. Fall 2012-Spring 2013
    American Nurses Association. Member. Current
    X Festival of Trees. Volunteer, Teddy Bear Hospital December 2011 & 2012

    I plan on personally hand delivering a packet containing my cover letter/resume/references/letter of recommendation/copy of my license & BLS/and immunization records.

    I really appreciate any advice I can get. I've read many posts and have tried to apply what I've read but I'm afraid I've missed something.
    Last edit by Ginnym1981 on Jul 11, '13 : Reason: Fix formatting
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    About Ginnym1981

    Joined: Mar '10; Posts: 115; Likes: 30