a year later the BON wants to examine me

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I have had my LPN for 4 years and last year I made a huge mistake of taking a small folded up paper containing cocaine...I do not do drugs, I have never done drugs and it was a mistake to take that into my possession. My husband found it months and months later and called the police on me. I was never arrested and it was proved in my case that I have never done drugs and that it was a mistake. But because it was cocaine it was a 5 felony in Ohio. I completed all of the rehab and probation and I had my record expunged. As soon as all of this happened I contacted the BON because I wanted to be the one to tell them about my mistake. I submitted all of my court papers and and completed all the forms they wanted. They told me no further action was required by the BON, my license is active and there was not disciplinary action taken. Over a year later the BON sends me a certified letter saying I have to complete a BON health screen and mental examination. That would be fine with me but I have to go to their DR and pay him $1,000 retainer within 10 days of getting the letter or the BON will take away my license!!!

Honestly, I am more than willing to get a mental exam if it means I get to keep my license, but I am unable to find work for over a year in health care because of this felony on my record. I do not have $1000 sitting around, it would be different if I was working...but like I said I cant even find a job..

I am a born again christian and I believe in second chances I wish there was an employer out there that believed in second chances as well

Any advice on what I should do would be wonderful..I know that people will judge me for my mistake and I know that I now have to carry it with me forever.

Please help...