You Know You're In A Redneck Hospital When.....

[betts]

- The ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.

- Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.

- Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.

- The Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.

- The Anesthesiologist is in bib overalls, and feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.

- Your Gynecologist is Ernest.

- Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.

- The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.

- Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.

- Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof.

- Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.

- Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.

- You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.

- You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.

- The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Howdy Yall

From deep in the heart of Texas

Personally I always did prefer my walker to have a gun rack.

The chief of surgery's last name was Knifechief {thats true}

Keep it in the short grass yall

teeituptom