Toddler's Rules

  1. TODDLER'S RULES

    If it is on, I must turn it off.

    If it is off, I must turn it on.

    If it is folded, I must unfold it.

    If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.

    If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

    If it is high, it must be reached.

    If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.

    If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

    If it has leaves, they must be picked.

    If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

    If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.

    If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the
    floor.

    If it is closed, it must be opened.

    If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

    If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

    If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.

    If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.

    If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.

    If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

    If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without
    protest. It must be pushed by me instead.

    If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

    If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.

    If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.

    If it is paper, it must be torn.

    If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

    If the volume is low, it must go high.

    If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.

    If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.

    If it is a toothbrush (or most anything else), it must be inserted into
    my mouth.

    If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.

    If it is a phone, I must talk on it.

    If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.

    If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

    If it is not food, it must be tasted.

    If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.

    If it is a car seat, I must not sit in it, I must protest with arched
    back.

    If it is Mommy (or Daddy), it must be hugged.

    I am toddler!


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  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   dawngloves
    If it is clean, it must be dirtied! Preferably 5 minutes before we walk out the door or guest arrive.
  4. by   fedupnurse
    My nephew cleaned the toilet with his daddy's toothbrush! EEEEEWWWWWW!!
  5. by   AmandaDawn
    read it too my Boyfriend and he said I don't want kids. WHen I read him the "life with a nurse post he said I don't wanna marry a nurse"....then he said you gotta stop going to that site....lol we have been together 8 yrs....too late now
  6. by   KaraLea
    OH, but when that toddler looks up at you with a little smile on his face and says "I love you" for the first time...Who can resist them?

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