This may be coming soon to a hospital near you!!!

  1. "I found this and wondered what ya would think about it"

    ADDENDUM TO THE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK


    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY

    SICKNESS:

    No excuse...We will no longer accept you doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

    AN OPERATION:

    We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.

    DEATH:

    Other than you own: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently let you leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

    Your own: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to train your replacement.

    ALSO:

    Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00-8:15, and so on. If your're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again.

    We appreciate your cooperation,

    THE MANAGEMENT
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   jnette
    Heh, heh, heh, heh..... wouldn't they just love it?
  4. by   tattooednursie
    Copy cat! I posted this before. LOL, it cracks me up evey time though.
  5. by   krispynurse
    Sorry, FutureRN_ Mandi....I couldn't resist. It reminds me of the last place that I worked. I sent it to my friends there and I betcha it goes up ---cause I was the one who would always open mouth insert foot and I forgot to take my signature off the bottom when I emailed it to them. And I just love thinking about how our supervisor is gonna think about it..
  6. by   Dave ARNP
    Its not that they won't accept your DOCTORS statement.
    They need your INSURANCE COMPANY to certify your illness. Afterall, they get to make the decision as to what tests are ordered, meds are given, when you go into the hospital, and essentially whether you live or die?

    Doctors and Nurse Practitioners only have the medical training; they've taken a class on how to write insurance policys.

    I feel so inaquate in their presence.

    David Adams, ARNP
    ACNP, FNP.
  7. by   RN~in~CT
    :chuckle :roll

    Hilarious!
  8. by   Danamegg
    Originally posted by krispynurse
    "I found this and wondered what ya would think about it"



    ALSO:

    Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00-8:15, and so on. If your're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again.

    My husband had the joke up at the office a few years ago. One of the employees complained to him about the alphabetical list -what if they had a serious need and it was not their turn?? He had a hard time explaining to her that it was a joke. (Yes she was not one of the brightest around!)

    :roll :roll
    Last edit by Danamegg on Sep 14, '03

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