Telemarketers.....

Nurses Humor

Published

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

ME: Hello.

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ....

ME: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

ME: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please?

ME: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

ME: Ok, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes

thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

ME: May I ask who is calling, please?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company..

ME: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like

to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest)

Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

ME: 7 days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

ME: 365 days a year?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

ME: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one

big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day,

7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay

us 10 cents a minute.

ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that

you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?

ME: Yeth?

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our

10 cents a minute program.

ME: Is This A T & T?

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I

could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the

person who was helping you.

ME: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more

mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there

was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested

in signing up for our plan?

ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and

Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a

little brother...

AT&T: click........

:roll :chuckle :roll

That is so cool, wish we had this "no call" thing here in Texas, or if we do I wish I knew about it (lol). Last Christmas we bought my dad a "telezapper" at Radio Shack and it works good but not good enough in my opinion.

On another note years ago after just seperating from my husband and getting my own apartment and bills and such, one day the phone rings and this woman tells me that she needs to verify my age from having called their psychic line, I told her I didn't call any psychic, she insisted that I had, we argued back and forth that I hadn't and she told me that somebody from my phone number had and just needed to verify my age. I told her that the only other people in the house was a 5 year old, 3 year old and an 18 month old and I was fairly certain none of them had, she finally said "ma'am if you can just give me your driver's license number I can just verify your age and you can get off the phone" that's when I told her, "if you were a very good psychic line y'all would be able to tell ME my age"............... CLICK!

Very funny :)

I remember once before I got married, a telemarketer called and said they were working on a house down the street and calling to offer me a special discount...

I said, "You couldn't possibly be working on a house down the street because my entire street consists of apartment buildings!"

The telemarketer laughed really hard and apologized...

There's a comedian from Louisville, KY that has made a bunch of $$ from his recorded conversations with telemarketers. His name is Tom Mabe and he has a website where he sells his CDs. They are totally hilarious!

My favorite is one where a guy selling burial plots calls him and he starts crying and tells the telemarketer that he was just thinking of killing himself. He goes on and on about how much his life sucks and the telemarketer pretends to be sympathetic and then proceeds to ask him if he can hold off for a day so they can get the paperwork out to him and even asks for his credit card number!

There's another one where they call from the local carpet cleaner and he asks them if they can get blood out of the carpet because he's got it everywhere. He acts like a complete psycho and freaks out the kid calling so much that the supervisor ends up calling him back to see if he needs any "help." He tells her that he just cut himself shaving.:roll :chuckle :roll

My dad's favorite trick is to embroil them in a polite conversation about their local weather, then try to sell them random stuff. His "favorites" are custom polyester dog collars, greased paper windows, and day-of-the-week mousepads. They never want to buy. What's up with that? ;)

Donna :)

Specializes in Obstetrics, M/S, Psych.

That's beautiful, emily_mom!

I've have heard tom mabes stuff, Elenaster...he's great!:chuckle

http://www.tommabe.com/

When they call me and ask to speak to the lady of the house, my favorite response is, "You just did!" ...then, CLICK!

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