Pizza Hut of the Future

  1. Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
    Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
    Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
    Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
    Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
    Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
    Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is Which number are you calling from, sir?"
    Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
    Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
    Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
    Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
    add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
    Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
    Special pizzas."
    Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
    Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
    Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
    you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
    National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
    Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"
    Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
    Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
    Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
    library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
    Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
    Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
    and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
    Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
    Your credit card balance is over its limit."
    Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
    gets here."
    Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn
    Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
    Howlong will it take?"
    Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
    minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a
    little awkward."
    Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"
    Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
    car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
    Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
    Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
    July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on
    September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes
    I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional
    Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
    Customer: (Speechless)
    Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
    Customer: "A two liter of Coke".
    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.
    Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   Chrislynn2003
    :chuckle Thanks for posting this.

  4. by   jnette
    Oh MY !!! :uhoh21:
  5. by   darla80
    Now that is hilarious.. makes me think of alll the 280 pound pts we have that come into our office and say .."I do not understand why I can not lose weight . I do not eat very much..."

    They would be the people on the line ordering the doublemeat pizzas and the 2 liter coke.. if only they knew we could watch them HMMMM

    Thanks for the smile!! :chuckle :chuckle
  6. by   Dave ARNP
    I saw this and thought... I wonder if it COULD happen?

    Glad ya'll enjoyed it!

  7. by   Diary/Dairy
    I just saw this - I don;t care if it is a few years old - it is still funny and it made me laugh!!!