Kids

  1. WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
    > > >
    > > > To those of us who have children in our lives, whether
    > > > they are our own,
    > > > grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or
    > > > students...here is something to make you chuckle.
    > > >
    > > > Whenever your children are out of control, you can
    > > > take comfort from the
    > > > thought that even God's
    > > > omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After
    > > > creating heaven
    > > > and earth, God created Adam and
    > > >
    > > > Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
    > > >
    > > > "Don't what?" Adam replied.
    > > >
    > > > "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
    > > >
    > > > "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey
    > > > Eve...we have forbidden
    > > > fruit!!!!!"
    > > >
    > > > "No Way!"
    > > >
    > > > "Yes way!"
    > > >
    > > > "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
    > > >
    > > > "Why"
    > > >
    > > > "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied,
    > > > wondering why He
    > > > hadn't stopped creation after making
    > > > the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His
    > > > children having an apple
    > > > break and He was ticked!
    > > >
    > > > "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
    > > >
    > > > "Uh huh," Adam replied.
    > > >
    > > > "Then why did you?" said the Father.
    > > >
    > > > "I don't know," said Eve.
    > > >
    > > > "She started it!" Adam said
    > > >
    > > > "Did not!"
    > > >
    > > > "Did to!"
    > > >
    > > > "DID NOT!"
    > > >
    > > > Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment
    > > > was that Adam and
    > > > Eve should have children of their
    > > > own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never
    > > > changed.
    > > >
    > > > BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
    > > >
    > > > If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give
    > > > children wisdom and
    > > > they haven't taken it, don't be hard on
    > > > yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what
    > > > makes you think it
    > > > would be a piece of cake for you?
    > > >
    > > > THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
    > > >
    > > > 1. You spend the first two years of their life
    > > > teaching them to walk and
    > > > talk. Then you spend the next sixteen
    > > > telling them to sit down and shut up.
    > > >
    > > > 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your
    > > > own children.
    > > >
    > > > 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat
    > > > their young.
    > > >
    > > > 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually
    > > > repeat word for
    > > > word what you shouldn't have said.
    > > >
    > > > 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is
    > > > to remind yourself
    > > > that there are children more awful than
    > > > your own.
    > > >
    > > > 6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still
    > > > getting in.
    > > >
    > > > ADVICE FOR THE DAY!
    > > >
    > > > Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
    > > > home.
    > > >
    > > > AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET
    > > > A HEADACHE, DO
    > > > WHAT IT SAYS ON
    > > > THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY
    > > > FROM CHILDREN"
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   nrs2bme
    Lol! Thanks I really needed that- Ive been feeling guilty about being too hard on my little girl... and realizing that I need to relax!
    S
  4. by   karenG
    my dad always says daughters are God's revenge on men for what they got up to as teenagers!!!! glad I have sons!

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