Finding good leads.....

[funnygirl_rn]

> > > "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have

> been with a loose woman."

> > > > The priest asks, "Is that you, Tommy

> Shaughnessy?"

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Yes, Father, it is."

> > > >

> > >

> > > > "And, who was the woman you were with?"

> > > >

> >

> > > > "Sure and I can't be telling you, Father. I

> don't want to be ruining her reputation."

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or

> later, so you may as well be telling me now. Was it

> Brenda O'Malley?"

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "I cannot say."

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Was it Patricia Kelly?"

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "I'll never tell."

> > > >

> > >

> > > > "Was it Liz Shannon?"

> > > >

> > > > "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Was it Cathy Morgan?"

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "My lips are sealed."

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a

> steadfast

> > > > lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that.

> But you've

> > > > sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend

> church

> > > > for three months. Now be off with you Lad."

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean

> slides over and whispers,

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "What'd you get?"

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Three months vacation and five good leads."

[sanakruz, ADN]

OY!

[nialloh, RN]

The New Alphabet for Older People

------------------------------------------------

A's for arthritis

B's for bad back

C's for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline

E is for eyesight--can't read that top line

F is for fissures and fluid retention

G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention)

And other gastrointestinal glitches

H is high blood pressure

I is for itches

J is for joints that are failing to flex

L for libido--what happened to sex?

Wait! I forgot about K for bad knees

(I've got a few gaps in my M-memory)

N's for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis

O is for osteo-

P's for porosis

Q is for queasiness. Fatal? Just flu?

R is for reflux--one meal becomes two

S is for sleepless nights counting my fears

T is for tinnitus--bells in my ears

U is for difficulties urinary

V is for vertigo

W is worry About what the X--as in X ray--will find

But through the word "terminal" rushes to mind,

I'm proud, as each

Y - year - goes by, to reveal

A reservoir of undiminished

Z - zeal---

[Good_Queen_Bess]

LOL at that alphabet! :chuckle

[nowplayingEDRN]