Classified Ads

[nursebedlam]

The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

FREE PUPPIES:

1/2 COCKER SPANIEL

1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.

LOOKS LIKE A RAT...

BEEN OUT AWHILE..

BETTER BE REWARD.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...

ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:

1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES.

ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

FULL SIZED MATTRESS.

20 YR. WARRANTY.

LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

NORDIC TRACK $300

HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING

"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER

"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB

GEORGIA PEACHES

CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE:

NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:

QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.

OUR SOFA WILL SEAT THE WHOLE MOB.

100% ITALIAN LEATHER.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES

FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

OPEN HOUSE

BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON

FREE COFFEE & DONUTS AND NOW FOR THE BEST OF THE LOT:

FOR SALE BY OWNER

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 negotiable. No longer needed. Recently

married; wife knows everything.

[nurse_pam]

funny!!!

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

:rotfl: Yep, I've read this before, and it still gives me a good laugh. Thank you.