Charting Bloopers

Two GPs used to pass an lol back and forth who was a rather difficult person. In one memorable note was written "patient complains of a bowel movement that coiled in the toilet and hissed like a snake... Back to you Vern"

This was charted in nursing notes: "Physician here a 0900. Passing flatus". Also this was stated in a patient history: "she has difficulty swallowing her pillows".

Bwah ha ha ha! I love that one. I have a few of these....

In doing a routine progress note one AM, the very tired intern put the date as being some 12 year prior to the actual one. The cardiologist circled it and wrote in the margin, "Bad call night?"

One of the vascular surgery residents wrote as a post-op order: "NPO until awake." Aw, gee, but I usually like to wake up my post-op pts by stuffing sandwiches down their throats to see if they have a gag reflex yet!

Our resp. therapy dept. actually used to keep a log book with copies of hilarious MD orders in it. One of the keepers: "Put pt on 15% O2 by mask." Written next to it were suggestions as to how exactly one might accomplish that--hook up to suction, bleed in a little nitrous or helium to cut the room-air O2, other?

Hilarious! Here's cute one from school. The pre-schoolers were waiting their turns for a health assessment. The nurse was using tongue blades through the hair to check for pediculosis, one boy said" what is she doing," a little girl answered as if he was stupid_"CHECKING FOR HEADLIGHTS"!
I didn't find any cars that day lol!

One of our cardiologist's had used his new
voice activated printer on his personal
laptop to print out an H&P. We were amused
to read that the patient had been admitted
for "rectal fibrillation". Wonder how many
joules it takes to convert that.....

LOL... a nurse that I have worked with for a long time once had a crush on a very attractive resident and used to complain of ...Labial fibrillation

Everyone knows how we call a really bad patient a "train wreck"...well, one of the assignments I had, there was a new person in the ED, and when the pt was helicoptered in, the flight nurse said there was a train wreck on the way, and the ED clerk put "Train Accident" as the reason for admission.

In my younger days, I had this surgical resident who would follow me around (he followed any female around) and claimed he could put me in vaginal fibrillation

Hot lips??? (Sorry Hoolahan, couldn't resist!)

Oh man this page is hilarious! Unfortunately I don't have any funny stories that I can think of, but please keep me laughing!

Amanda