Battle of the sexes

  1. What men and women say and what they really mean:



    What a woman says, what she really means:


    I need = I want

    We need = I want

    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

    Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later

    We need to talk = I need to complain

    Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to

    I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

    You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS

    Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

    This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

    I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...

    I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade

    I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

    Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

    How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate

    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

    Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

    Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead

    Yes = No

    No = No

    Maybe = No

    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

    I was wrong = Not as wrong as you

    Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

    Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

    I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!


    What a man says, what he really means:


    I'm hungry = I'm hungry

    I'm tired = I'm tired

    Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

    What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now?

    You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

    Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before

    Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!

    I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   nursebedlam
    yeap good
  4. by   ?burntout
    He he he :chuckle

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