Aging!

  1. Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.

    "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. You always feel like you have to pee, but most of the time you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

    "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy,you can't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

    "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

    "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

    "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00 like a racehorse with no problem at all." answered the 80 year old.

    "Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?" questioned the 70 year old.

    "No, I have a bowel movement every morning at 6:30 with great exasperation." the 80 year old exclaimed.

    What's so tough about being 80 then?" the 60 year old asked impatiently.

    "Well...I don't wake up until 7."


    [This message has been edited by LLUstudentNurse (edited May 12, 2000).]

    [This message has been edited by LLUstudentNurse (edited May 12, 2000).]
    •  
  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   nurskelli
    That reminds me of one patient who came through our medicare facility a few months back.

    I stopped in late, having been too busy to assess him earlier. "Well, J how are you feeling tonight?

    "Well, not too good..." he replies, he is lying on his side, , nearly blind eyes toward the wall, he is very alert, oriented
    and verbal.

    He is nearly deaf and often refuses his hearing aide, so loudly I begin to question, "where do you hurt, do you have chest pain,...are you nauseous...dizzy...?" I begin to check his vitals.

    Loudly he responds,"HOw old did you say I am?"

    "Well, J you're One hundred and two years old!"

    "Hmmm...That might have something to do with it!"

    Originally posted by LLUstudentNurse:
    Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.

    "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. You always feel like you have to pee, but most of the time you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

    "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy,you can't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

    "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

    "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

    "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00 like a racehorse with no problem at all." answered the 80 year old.

    "Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?" questioned the 70 year old.

    "No, I have a bowel movement every morning at 6:30 with great exasperation." the 80 year old exclaimed.

    What's so tough about being 80 then?" the 60 year old asked impatiently.

    "Well...I don't wake up until 7."


    [This message has been edited by LLUstudentNurse (edited May 12, 2000).]

    [This message has been edited by LLUstudentNurse (edited May 12, 2000).]
  4. by   panda_181
    There is a resident at our nursing home who had to have a bowel movement every 2 days or he will do something about it.

    Every couple of days the emergency bell in the bathroom will ring and the nurses used to always go running because they were scared something was wrong. But now we all know that if it's coming from "Dave's" room, we will go in there only for him to say "I need an enema!" Every 2 days he will ask for it if he hasn't gone by himself.

    One day I went in there and he said "I can't help it, I'm plugged!"

    Amanda :O
  5. by   nurse020302
    At an assisted living facility I had worked at we had to put the cooking oil in the medicine cart to keep one of the residents from getting it and drinking it. She thought she had to have a BM every day or something was wrong and Cooking oil was her laxative.

close