Aging

  1. Three old men where talking about the best thing that could happen to
    them
    at that time off life. The 80 yearlod said: 'the best thing that could
    happen to me is too be able to have a good pee. I just stand there and
    it
    dribbles and hurts, and I have to go over and over again.

    The 85 yearold said: 'the best thing that could happen to me is if I
    could
    have a good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my
    hands
    on and it is still a problem'.

    The 90 yearold man said; 'thats not my problem, every morning at 06.00am
    sharp I have a good long pee and at 06.30 sharp I have a great bowel
    movement. The best thing that could happen to me is if I could wake up
    before 07.00am'.


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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   hmet
    I work in a long-term care center & one day an Elvis impersonator came in to perform for the residents.After he was done he was strolling through the building,greeting the residents. He stopped beside one little old lady sitting in a wheelchair & asked,"Do you know who I am?" "No"she said,"But if you ask that nurse over there, she can tell you."
  4. by   SophieMae
    In a closed secure unit, we had a combative with very long finger nails. She would dig everyone she could reach. One day her RN said I need help holding her steady so I can cut her nails.
    Well, four of us eventually ended up in that room, attempting to be as gentle as possible we held her. I sat on the bed and put my leg over her leg (she tried to kick us) and took her arm, holding it steady and controlled. She was so frustrated that all the names she called us did not do the intended damage, she tried the kicking, hitting and digging again. That did not work. So she tried to bite us......but she had no teeth.
    Suddenly she stopped all attempts to get free, calmly looked at me and said........."You hit her."
  5. by   tylerlvn
    Quote from hmet
    I work in a long-term care center & one day an Elvis impersonator came in to perform for the residents.After he was done he was strolling through the building,greeting the residents. He stopped beside one little old lady sitting in a wheelchair & asked,"Do you know who I am?" "No"she said,"But if you ask that nurse over there, she can tell you."
    hehehe :chuckle i work in long term care too. That a cute story!

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Aging