Nurses With POSSIBILITIES: Changing Our Perspective on Disability
As a nurse with multiple physical and mental health concerns, I've spent much of the past few years focusing on what I'm no longer able to do. But thanks to an old friend, I'm learning to view my life and career in terms of their *possibilities*, rather than their limitations. Here's how you can, too.
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The light from the front porch lamp filtered through the sheer drapes as I sat in the dark dining room, chatting on the phone with an old friend I hadn't seen in years. "Shawn" was in the hospital with a life-threatening heart condition, scared to death, and he'd called me out of the blue because I was the only person he knew who would understand.
As we were catching up with one another, he mentioned his work as a live-in life coach for a man with multiple medical, psychological, and developmental disabilities. His love for the job, and his client, was evident as he spoke at length about his outlook on caring for this gentleman: "I don't think of him as a guy with disabilities," he said. "I think of him as a guy with possibilities."
Shawn went on to have open-heart surgery and is now back on the job after a short SNF stay, and we continue to talk on Facebook as well as the occasional phone call. But what he said about viewing his client in terms of the man's possibilities has stayed with me, and gradually it's changed my perspective on my own.
After all, there may be a number of things a nurse with functional limitations can't do, but what if one were to focus instead on what s/he can do? I myself will probably never again be able to handle the stress of management or the constantly shifting priorities of the floor; but in working at my current job, I've found out that I'm really good at assessing new patients' medical and psychosocial needs, getting them settled into their surroundings, and making them feel welcome. I also enjoy doing the follow-ups a few days later to make sure they're getting the care they need.
So, what are some of the other things we "nurses with possibilities" can do? A lot depends on our knowledge and experience, as well as our educational level. I have a friend who injured her back working on a med/surg unit, but she's found her bliss as a community-based geriatric care manager who works independently out of her own home. She has a BSN and ran a day-care center before she became a nurse, so her background in managing her own business is serving her well.
Another acquaintance became an admissions coordinator for a large assisted living community in a neighboring city after she had a mental breakdown at her former job as a DON in a 135-bed skilled nursing facility. She went inpatient for a few days to deal with her anxiety and depression, then took a month off to figure out what to do next. As it turned out, she now has both autonomy and authority without the stress of having to oversee the residents' care after they're admitted, and she tells me she's never been happier.
This is what my father used to call "making chicken salad out of chicken----".....well, it's a word for something chickens do a lot of. It isn't easy. Almost all of us, upon discovering that we can no longer do something we once loved, feel at first as though we've been hit by a truck. Then we go through a period of denial, and even anger at the hand we've been dealt: How could my body (or mind) betray me like this? we want to know. And even worse, we wonder who we're supposed to be now that our place in the world has disappeared.
The answers, of course, are different for each of us. Carving out a new niche in life takes time, it takes patience, and it takes a whole lot of hard work. But if we try to see ourselves the way Shawn does his client---in light of our possibilities rather than our disabilities---we just might find out that our changed circumstances have led us to something infinitely better than what we left behind.
