If at first you don't succeed, I don't want to be your first patient
When someone says, "Are you a Male Nurse?" Pull front of pants out, look down, and then surprised say,"Wow, I am." or, "Yeah, last time I checked." My favorite, "No, the guy who was wearing these scrubs
'was,' but I'm from the Psych Unit, my name is Jack."
"No Boston, it would be unethical to put a 10 minute "Lock-out" on Ms. does Call Button!"
"Can I take Christmas off?"
MD: "Nurse! Wait!...Why is a rectal thermometer above your ear!"
Nurse: "CRUD! Now I remember where my pen is!"
"I don't need a beer Nurse Sue! I said a 'Butt Light!"
Two Psych patients were sitting on a park bench when a crow pooped down on them from a tree. The Nurse fearful they would freak-out said,"I'll be right back with tissue!" Patient one: That's sweet of her, but I hope she doesn't get hurt climbing the tree.
Patient two: She's a nut! That bird will be halfway out of town when she gets back!
No, this 'pain killer' shouldn't hurt your mother-in-law, but it will make her easier to tolerate