New to recovery

Nurses Recovery

Published

Specializes in CardioPulmonary/Internal Medicine.

Hello everyone,

I am a nurse in Wisconsin who was terminated from my hospital position back in February for narcotic diversion. For months I applied for new jobs, hoping as the months passed that I had dodged the BON bullet....but inevitably I was contacted by an investigator and have entered into an agreement with the Board. My license is suspended, I have to complete a treatment program, go to meetings, etc. As I sit here typing this, I have tears streaming down my face. Obviously I need help and several things must take place before I will be safe in the workplace again. The thing is, I have done the AA/NA thing in the past and I feel so out of place there! Can anyone in the Milwaukee, WI area recommend any meetings or support groups geared toward health care professionals in recovery? Any feedback would be immensely appreciated!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I hope things have gotten better since writing this post. I wish I had a lot of great advice for you but the only thing I can think of off the top of my head would be trying AA/NA again. If anything one or two meetings shouldn't hurt. Even if you really feel like it won't help you might at least meet one or more people who could offer some great advice. You can share as much or as little as you want. I'm not even really that familiar with NA/AA but it's likely some of the people may have a lot more resources for you in addition to that support group. Even if what I suggested doesn't help I at least wanted to say I wish you the best. Keep your head up :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.

STK, I'm going to go through your post point by point and provide some thoughts for you to think about. I've been where you are and no longer have my license. I am using my experience, strength, and hope learned through my recovery over the past 20 years...the last 15+ years clean and sober. Some of this might not be pleasant, maybe even painful. Nothing I'm posting is meant to hurt you or criticize you. It's a look at the facts (as you've presented them) and trying to be as real as possible.

Hello everyone,

I am a nurse in Wisconsin who was terminated from my hospital position back in February for narcotic diversion.

I was asked to come to a treatment facility to speak with a home care nurse who was caught taking a patient's percocet. His "reason" for doing so was he had a chronic pain condition in his legs and he was having a really "bad day". Then he states, "I'm not really sure why I took those pills." I responded with the plain, and very real truth, "You have the disease of chemical dependence." Before my disease became active I would never have taken an ibuprofen or acetaminophen from anyone's home without asking. Now I'm taking a controlled substance that can only be taken legally when it's prescribed specifically for me by a licensed health care professional with prescriptive authority! There is no other rational explanation.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you're bad, stupid, or immoral. You have a disease that targets very specific areas of the brain and the SIGNS and SYMPTOMS of that disease are antisocial and often criminal.

For months I applied for new jobs, hoping as the months passed that I had dodged the BON bullet....but inevitably I was contacted by an investigator and have entered into an agreement with the Board. My license is suspended, I have to complete a treatment program, go to meetings, etc. As I sit here typing this, I have tears streaming down my face. Obviously I need help and several things must take place before I will be safe in the workplace again.

Ahhhh yes. It's called "consequences". These don't happen to those with this disease alone. Diabetics who ignore their care plan have consequences (neuropathies, renal disease, cardiovascular disease, amputations, and early death to mention a few). We can say the same thing for anyone dealing with a chronic, progressive, potentially fatal disease who ignores the recommended treatment and maintenance plan for their particular disorder. Many of our consequences happen to include negative legal, financial, and social outcomes along with things like trauma, infections, and sudden death from side effects or accidental overdose.

Notice I highlighted a specific section of your post above. Notice I also did NOT highlight the "safe in the workplace" part. Why not? Because this is about so much more than your license or career! THIS IS ABOUT YOUR LIFE! As I tell everyone I meet who has this disease and is in the early stage of recovery (the first 2 years). ANYTHING YOU PLACE BEFORE YOUR RECOVERY WILL EVENTUALLY BE LOST! Jobs, license, career, family, house, car, pension, self respect, your life. Sometimes it's lost quickly, sometimes it takes a long time.

So, you have a brain disease that can be effectively treated with long term recovery possible. The problem is, YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE PLAN!! Diabetics who "play" at their treatment plan and recovery have numerous complications die young.

You stated, "I have to complete a treatment program, go to meetings, etc." Just like the diabetic! Diagnosis, get the blood sugar under control (treatment program), go to meetings (watching diet, exercising, taking insulin), etc. The "etc." is important also. This is the part where the diabetic accepts their diagnosis and incorporates all of the changes needed into their "lifestyle". As addicts, we have to do the same thing.

The thing is, I have done the AA/NA thing in the past and I feel so out of place there! Can anyone in the Milwaukee, WI area recommend any meetings or support groups geared toward health care professionals in recovery? Any feedback would be immensely appreciated!

If you had cancer and required chemo and radiation treatments would you say, "I've done the chemo/radiation thing and it makes me feel like feces! So I'm looking for something else that's less "uncomfortable and painful". Can anyone recommend some herbal therapies and other alternative treatments?" If you would, I'd make sure your life insurance policy is paid up so your family will at least reap the benefits after the cancer kills you.

This is not a "blip" on the screen or just a temporary "problem" (choose your favorite euphemism for "addiction" and enter it now). This is a chronic, progressive, potentially fatal disease. It's not going away. If you don't "get it" and accept that you have lots of work to do over the next couple of years (and then continue your maintenance plan FOREVER), you are going to lose more than your license.

Find a treatment program for health care professionals, do exactly what they recommend, take things one day at a time and your life will get better.

Feel free to PM me anytime.

:hug:

Jack

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OR, ER, Oncology, CPC.

Listen to Jack!!! Recovery, though hard, is very rewarding. I did not loose my license but it was on probation for a time and I will always have adverse actions on my license. I had to let go of that and work on me. My life has forever changed and it takes work EVERYDAY to stay clean. This is the path that is sometimes chosen for us just like the cancer patient or diabetic.

Good luck to you!!! Happy and healthy new year.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hi STK: So sorry about your news. It must be heart wrenching to deal with. My question for you is Before hearing from an investigator did you get a copy of the complaint and chance to write a statement explaining your side? I thought when an employer or anyone for that matter filed a compaint they had to give you the opportunity to reply than decide if an investigation would happen.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
Hi STK: So sorry about your news. It must be heart wrenching to deal with. My question for you is Before hearing from an investigator did you get a copy of the complaint and chance to write a statement explaining your side? I thought when an employer or anyone for that matter filed a compaint they had to give you the opportunity to reply than decide if an investigation would happen.

Be very careful about how much of your side of the story you share with anyone in a position of authority...employer, colleagues, investigators (board of nursing, pharmacy, or the police) without legal representation. You have no idea how many nurses I've seen make things worse by saying things using the wrong words or phrases, or by sharing more information than is necessary. You are too emotionally involved and don't know enough about the administrative law process to represent yourself effectively. It's worth the money, even if you have to borrow it from a family member or friend, if it can prevent you from making things worse.

The American Association of Nurse Attorneys Referral Site

Jack

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Hello everyone,

I am a nurse in Wisconsin who was terminated from my hospital position back in February for narcotic diversion. For months I applied for new jobs, hoping as the months passed that I had dodged the BON bullet....but inevitably I was contacted by an investigator and have entered into an agreement with the Board. My license is suspended, I have to complete a treatment program, go to meetings, etc. As I sit here typing this, I have tears streaming down my face. Obviously I need help and several things must take place before I will be safe in the workplace again. The thing is, I have done the AA/NA thing in the past and I feel so out of place there! Can anyone in the Milwaukee, WI area recommend any meetings or support groups geared toward health care professionals in recovery? Any feedback would be immensely appreciated!

Hello my friend. I have been a nurse for 25 years. I am under stipulations to practice to "waive suspension". I have searched and read countless websites. I spoke with the WNA's "Peer Assistance Program" which is NOT a program. They haven't gotten it off the ground. YOU my friend are the fist Wisconsin Nurse and IN Milwaukee as I am. I would like to touch base with you for mutual support and put our brains together and help each other through these tuff times to come. I just became a member because I was lucky enough to read YOUR MILWAUKEE WISCONSIN posting. I can't send messages yet as I have not done 15 postings! If you have please get in touch with me.

Wisconsin has no programs, support groups specifically for nurses, period. I feel that you are a godsend! Please hit me back.

Thank you

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.

You might consider contacting the state nursing association peer assistance program. Their contact information states:

WNA staff will assist you in accessing a Peer Assistance Volunteer or provide other information to you related to chemical dependency. You can contact us at 221-0383 or if you are outside Madison call 800-362-3959 Ask for Gina and she will provide confidential assistance. WNA is only interested in knowing your first name and how to contact you.

If you haven't had treatment, do it! The above program may have referral information for you. This disease will kill you...after destroying every part of your life and the lives of those around you. Being a nurse is only a small part of who you are. Getting well and remaining in recovery is the primary focus of your life. Without recovery everything else will be lost. EVERYTHING!

Seek treatment at a facility with experience in treating health care professionals (we can be a tough nut to crack). There are over 500 SAMHSA certified treatment facilities within 100 miles of Milwaukee. Call to find out if they have experience treating health care professionals. Hazelden is the closest facility that I'm familiar with who has a professionals treatment program in Center City, Minnesota. Their contact information is:

  • Call any day, any time
  • 800-257-7810
  • 651-213-4200
  • P.O. Box 11
    15251 Pleasant Valley Rd.
    Center City, MN 55012-0011
  • [email protected]

Good luck and let us know how you're doing. Remember, you're not a bad person trying to become good. You have a chronic, progressive, potentially fatal disease and need to, and want, to become well.

Jack

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment