I need help and a have a few questions...

Nurses Recovery

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I was fired last week for diversion. I am so ****** at myself and can't believe this has happened.

The hospital is not pressing charges against me as they know me and my character and work ethic was great while there, until recently.

I self-reported to my BON and am trying to get into the VRP. They told me that I cannot participate IF I have charges filed against me.

They also stated that the DEA could file charges. Does anyone know what the likelyhood of this happening is? And how long would it take to find out whether or not charges will be filed?

Is 2 months going to go by and all of a sudden cops come arrest me at my house?

I am so screwed and I really need this recovery program to get back on the right track.

Thanks, chaotic!

I really screwed up..... I am trying to stay positive the best I can:)

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Specializes in Med Surg, Nursing Administration for SNF.

sl33y -- dont give up!!! Would you believe that there are soooo many of us - and I do mean us - who have been where you are (scared, ashamed, confused, lonely, heartbroken, angry and then some) and have not only gotten through it but are actually GRATEFUL and yes I do mean GRATEFUL for the experience?! I also was intervened on at work and yes, I thought it was the end of the world, the end of my career, and the end of my marriage. The one thing I knew for sure was that it was also the end of a very awful existance living day to day obsessisng over the only thing I cared about, narcotics. How did I go from being such a great nurse, so proud when I told people my profession to such a low? I knew that something had to give and I re-entered recovery through the rooms of AA with what we call the "gift of desperation". I learned that I was not bad - rather sick, and my medicine was to become the program of recovery. I did what I was told and little by little, my life fell back into place. It wasnt easy. I had a key restriction and getting a job was tough. Going to soooo many meetings (IOP, IPN, aftercare, and AA) and three kids was tough. I wanted to give up at times, but didnt. I am so glad I didnt. I believed the nurses in this program who told me to hang in there, that it would get better - just get honest, dont use and go to meetings. My life is better than it ever has been. I am now an IPN facilitator myself and try to give back what was so freely given to me. I know that just because I graduated IPN does NOT mean that I am done with recovery. My disease patiently waits. I live life based on spiritual principles and stay humble. I AM grateful for the nurse who turned me in, I have NEVER been happier. Yes life still throws curve balls (my husband is in the building industry and was just laid off yesterday) but I have serenity - a loving higher power, an awesome sponsor, the best home group, and tools to deal with the curve balls. I wish you well, my friend, there is hope and there is a life beyond your wildest dreams. PM if you like. Heres a hug :loveya: OH yeah, i did lose that marriage - thank God!

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Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
Thanks, chaotic!

I really screwed up..... I am trying to stay positive the best I can:)

Would you say you screwed up if you discovered you had cancer? Or hypertension? Or Crohn's?

You didn't ask for this. For those who will tell you..."You did this to yourself!" ...they are ignorant.

We live in a society where the recreational use of mood altering substances is not only accepted, it's promoted! There are numerous religions that use wine in their ceremonies. The American Indian uses peyote in some of their spiritual rituals. There is advertising for a variety of alcohol containing beverages. The newest mood altering beverage is the "energy" drink. They boast large amounts of caffeine and sugar. Look at the sleep aids being promoted.

For 80 - 85% of the population, this is no big deal. But for the 15 - 20% of the population who are genetically susceptible to the disease of addiction, these products, if used regularly, may eventually trigger the disease of addiction. There will be those who "poo poo" this idea. But it's accepted for other diseases.

Lung cancer. We all know that smoking is a major cause of lung cancer. We also know individuals who smoke like a chimney and don't develop lung cancer. No one in their right mind would say, "Smoking doesn't cause lung cancer!" The chronic exposure to tar and nicotine in the susceptible individual can trigger the disease. We don't ridicule these individuals or withhold treatment of the disease.

Skin cancer. Chronic exposure to the sun's ultraviolet radiation can cause skin cancer, including melanoma. We also know many people who sunbathe until their skin looks like an expensive purse and don't develop skin cancer. No one in their right mind says, "Suntanning doesn't cause skin cancer!" We don't ridicule these folks or withhold treatment should they develop skin cancer.

Addiction is no different. It's lack of knowledge and understanding that promotes the continued "belief" that addicts/alcoholics do this to themselves and "should know better". "If you loved your family you would stop doing this!"

I loved my family. I couldn't stop without help.

Do something about this now! You've been given a golden opportunity to arrest the progression of your disease. Chemical dependence doesn't go away if it's ignored. You can't do this alone. Would you try to treat your own lung cancer?

If you don't do whatever it takes to treat your disease I can promise you your disease will progress, and one or all of the following will occur:

  • you'll lose your license permanently
  • you'll end up in the hospital due to complications from the disease
  • you'll end up in jail
  • You'll end up in the morgue

I experienced the first three and almost experienced the last one.

You aren't evil, and you didn't screw up. You're sick. Go get treatment and work your recovery as if your life depends on it because it does! Once that happens, use your experience to help others.

The only way you can screw up is if you don't take the gift that's being handed to you as a result of all that has happened.

You and your family are in my prayers!

Jack

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Spoke with an attorney today but it was kind of pointless. He wants lots of money and I am not going to be able to keep him. He also won't work out a payment plan.

I guess I'll deal with the legal issue if/when it comes up.

Thanks again for everyone's help!

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Specializes in LABOR AND DELIVERY,MEDSURG.

Just to let you know I have been down your road. An attorney is not going to help you deal with board issues.The BON has no legal recourse against you only administrative penalties ie: your license. Don't worry about an attorney until you have to. work on YOUR RECOVERY!

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Thanks....

That is what I will do - RECOVER! Long road ahead, but I seem to have to do everything in life the hardest way possible!

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Specializes in LABOR AND DELIVERY,MEDSURG.

One thing that all of us as addicts have a hard time doing is ------ asking for help. Don't be so hard on yourself it gets better I promise:up:

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Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
Just to let you know I have been down your road. An attorney is not going to help you deal with board issues.The BON has no legal recourse against you only administrative penalties ie: your license. Don't worry about an attorney until you have to. work on YOUR RECOVERY!

If you are called before the board, take an attorney. While they may not be able to bring charges against you in court, everything you say to them can and will be used against you in a court of law. Yes...your recovery is tops on the list, but you don't want to end up saying or doing something while you are emotionally in turmoil. Right now you aren't going to make very wise decisions alone. You need someone who isn't emotionally involved in the situation. Is there only one attorney in your town? The decisions and actions you make in the days and weeks to come will have long lasting effects on your life...both professionally and personally. No family or friends willing to help you financially until you can get on your feet again?

Jack

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I think I have used up all of the generosity my parents can give me. I will not ask for their help - they have supported me and my family for the past 3 years while I went to school.

Anyway, it is what it is and I think I am finally finding some peace with this mess.

What's the worst that can happen? Jail? No license? Bad stuff, but at least I am still alive!

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Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
I think I have used up all of the generosity my parents can give me. I will not ask for their help - they have supported me and my family for the past 3 years while I went to school.

Anyway, it is what it is and I think I am finally finding some peace with this mess.

What's the worst that can happen? Jail? No license? Bad stuff, but at least I am still alive!

Speaking as a father of a daughter in recovery...if she was in your position, I would be very disappointed if she didn't come to me for help...whether financial, emotional, for advise, or a place to lay her head. I realize not everyone has a family that is there when you need them, but I would sure give it a shot.

I'm praying for you and your entire family.

Jack

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Thanks, Jack!

I need all the prayers I can get:) I haven't told my parents yet - got to build up some confidence before I tell them.....

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Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
Thanks, Jack!

I need all the prayers I can get:) I haven't told my parents yet - got to build up some confidence before I tell them.....

I hear ya. If there is some way I can help with that part...let me know.

Jack

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