Hello, my fellow recovering addicts and alcoholics!
I have been sober for 8 months now, after a relapse following my mother's death. I have been in my monitoring program for almost two years now. It is amazing how life improves when one doesn't turn to drugs for escape. I was paranoid, insecure, and never able to whole-heartedly pursue my goals when I was smoking. Although some days I still have cravings, I am convinced that life is better without it and I am pretty good at using my coping skills and support system to get through rough times. I have made an amazing network of true friends while in the program and I wouldn't give that up for the world. When I was using, I had no friends and I constantly isolated myself when I wasn't at work.
Here is my really embarrassing situation: I recently got offered a job as a home health case manager for a very small home health agency. I honestly never thought I'd never be able to find a nursing job until I was done with my monitoring program.... so YAY for that!
I had been applying non-stop, but when it comes to the interview and revealing my participation in my program, I either get "I'm sorry" or I get the run around never to hear from the employer again. I am so thankful that something came through for me and I do not want to mess this up!
I have gotten approval from my program for this new job and I start sometime next week. However, I am now scared crapless that I have messed this up for myself. They popped me twice last week. When I turned in my sample the second time, it appeared pretty pale and dilute (pastel yellow). This is because (I am really embarrassed to tell this but here I go) I had taken 10mg of Lasix earlier in the day before I logged in and found out I had to test. I missed a couple birth control pills last week and I needed to take Plan B, which made my breasts really sore that day. I have kept my mom's old Lasix around to take a half tablet when I feel bloated. It really does and did help. Unfortunately, it made my urine dilute too.... I feel so dumb and I really hope I won't have to explain this to my program. I'm pretty sure I'd get in trouble for taking something that wasn't prescribed. Before you are too hard on me, you should know that I am well aware of the health risks of taking Lasix. I only take it once or twice a month, and then only 10 mg, and I haven't had any muscle cramps or ill effects.
I had one other dilute early this year (from simply drinking too much water one day) and the letter says they would turn me over to the MRO and have me see a nephrologist if it happened again. I am so scared they will rescind their approval for my new job. I am prepared to offer my hair, blood, and soul to prove I wasn't using! I have already thrown away the Lasix so I am not tempted to take it again when I feel bloated and then get tested. I can't afford to be in this position again! I am a nervous wreck and I have called my sponsor twice already today. I can't change what I did, and I shouldn't worry so much about consequences before they even happen. But it is hard not to. I'm hoping hearing some of your stories will ease my mind a little.
What does your monitoring program do when you have a dilute? Has anyone ever been denied a job for a dilute sample?