The Enemy... The Nurse Manager

[I.Am.A.Nurse.]

Do you know what it's like to not have anyone like you? To know that everyone hates you? That's my life as a nurse manager. They now see me as the enemy. I have to deny vacations, write people up, give not so good performance evaluations, tell people how to do their job better, short the unit. They think I am sitting in my office everyday doing nothing when I am drowning in work. Blah!!!! I spend almost all my time in meetings. Sometimes I literally have 30 minutes outside of meetings. So then I work at home or on my days off. When I am in my office, sometimes I close my door. I literally cannot get a thing done when my door is open because people always come in to talk. I cannot send people away because I don't want to unapproachable.

What they don't know is how hard I fight for them. They forget about all the new equipment I fight for. They forget all about the changes I have made so they have it easier. I talk about these in our staff meetings but very few people come. I send out weekly emails but people don't read them.

I was so happy to take this job. It has proved to be the hardest job ever. I have senior leaders handing never ending tasks down to me and staff level employees complaining so much. It's exhausting. Was I like that as a staff nurse?

Balancing the schedule for 70 people is nuts. No one gets 100% of what they want. That makes people very angry but someone has to work!

People complain and gossip but refuse to get involved. They won't come to staff meetings, they won't join committees, they won't offer solutions.

I love my job and I love the team. However; it is so exhausting. I am on call 24-7. People tend to forget that too. I respond to calls and messages all day long.

I just want people to meet me in the middle.

I try to get to know the staff members, send thank notes monthly, ask people what they think.

I can't seem to get ahead. I think a big part of the problem is that I came from this unit. People wonder why I got the job. I'm sure some people even hate it. No matter how hard I try, I can't get them to understand that I work for them. I want them to grow and succeed. I want us to be a great unit that everyone wants to work on.

Any tips??? Any advice???

[Skippingtowork]

The nurse manager I have is amazing. She is a floor nurse and always works around our schedules. There around 10 full time then part time and float pool. You have to give your nurses their days off they ask, they have a life you need to stand up to upper management and tell them. Nurses have options and respect their lives as well. You get paid the big bucks to be a manager.

Most nurse managers aren't paid the big bucks everyone thinks they're getting. Plus, if you account that they are on call 24/7, they're being paid minimum wage for maximum responsibility.

[Skippingtowork]

So many good responses and suggestions here. Stay strong! One suggestion I have is to utilize anyone currently in school for special projects. They often have projects that they need to complete for course requirements. If you don't have any nursing admin, clinical specialist or DNP students on your staff, see if there are any elsewhere in the hospital. There are so many ways they can be utilized and would love to have a place to do their project. There are students completing their BSN who also have requirements. Don't neglect the nurses who would love to contribute, but are shy to speak up. Get a feel for who they are. Also, when staff complain about issues, turn it around and let them find a solution and give them a deadline to come back with ideas. You can let the unit know that nurse K is going to work on this issue. Let them take ownership. Or you can have everyone on staff give you alternatives ideas in writing. Suggestions must be thoughtful, well-written, with strategies for implementation. You can then give feedback as to constraints. Perhaps these can be made public for all the staff to see. It's very unfortunate that sometimes we know the clinical side of nursing, but not the financial or regulatory side.

Staff meetings often turn into complaint sessions or a time to get negative feedback. Minutes from the meeting placed at the nurses station and signed after reading, was previously suggested. This works very well for some of us. We can read it quickly and aborb the information. Any questions can then be e-mailed to the NM.

[Emmmm]

Hmmmm! People go for nurse manager position for different reasons. Some don't want to work on the floor, even though they are not comptent less expert, no experience; these are the wicked ones who give the position bad name. They hate to see those on the floor do anything such as go for higher degrees, etc. They feel very insecured, oppress people, never help, dish out orders, dance to the tune of all MDs and resident even when they are wrong. I once had one, her credentials read ADN, a different course under bachelors, she hates every nurse on the floor. Never have off on your class days. Sniffing to know what you are going to school for. Trying to frustrate those on school by making sure they come to every damn nonsense meeting only her talks. It was terrible. Nurses left the unit in droves and they retired her immediately. I wonder what some people gain by frustrating others.

[Justbeachy21]

I will comment based on my experience as a former educator, Oncology Nurse Manager, and Pharmaceutical Industry Director. In your comments you mentioned the word "I" over 30 times and others may see this as someone being portrayed as a martyr. I would suggest you meet with your HR team and come up with a measurable tool that you utilize to assess what you perceive your skillset are from both a positive and negative standpoint and then have HR provide the tool to your staff to assess your positive and negative traits. Follow up with HR to review each of the perceptions each have of the other and make a conscious effort to address. The Myers-Briggs tool is also a good team building exercise--lets each see their personality style and how it helps in dealing with others with the opposite style. The comments on writing folks up, denying vacation, telling people how to do their job are not limited to the nursing profession. Every industry strives to address these issues in a positive way and know that when leaders change in an organization there is going to be staff changes and resentment and the great leaders address these up front 1:1. If some staff members do not like your approach and are disruptive to destroying the team you are trying to form, then it may be time to look at assembling a staff that is more positive and will work well with you. Don't give up--change is the only constant in an organization and it is important for the leader to embrace it. A final thought is to look at the areas you can give up some responsibility such as scheduling (how about staff filling out the schedule and be responsible for filling the open shifts), take a few projects and have it managed by a committee so they would get the credit for positive results and also see how demanding some projects can be. Don't let your negativity be seen by your staff--they will only follow your lead. Once you get your team engaged in the work that has to be done they will also embrace it because they want to be seen as successful. Good luck!

[petitjane]

Been there-done that. The very best you should aim for is respect-not love☺It sounds like you have an unfortunate dual role of oversight-clinical and administrative. Hopefully from the beginning you meet every employee on your unit and explain what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. In this dual role, you must keep your clinical skills sharp and be able to troubleshoot complex situations. If you can't do this; you are not going to succeed. It is especially hard for a younger manager with many staff old timers who may be resentful.

Bite your tongue and always be kind even giving a reprimand or warning. Your employess must know you do not play favorites and you always have their back AND that your clinical skills at least match or are better than theirs. advise from "Old War Horse" ☺

[Mia1234]

Have a raffle and let your biggest complainer be you for the day. Then have another raffle and let your next biggest complainer be you for the day. Sometimes I want to say grow up!!! When they are you and sitting in your seat they get to feel the heat. I don't envy your job and I hope you are making over 100,000 a year or very close to it. Good luck and God bless.

[TonyaMarie, MSN]

There is a lot of negativity here against leadership. How about becoming a leader (without the title) to support your leader and things will work better from the bottom to the top. I'm a 20 plus year veteran nurse and I've had about 1 or 2 bad leaders in my career but even with this I was able to see the good in what I do and worked as if I am the leader. Leaders aren't there to make your life comfortable but to make sure you get paid and have all the necessary things to get your work done. What's sad is there are more nurses who'd rather complain than just simply focus on doing good work. Nursing is hard work alone and attacking leaders is not making it any better.

[kublerk]

I love the way you expressed your frustration. I have been a nurse for 33 years and have 3 nurse managers I loved. the qualities were:

1)They listened to their staff

2)They helped work the floor when things got crazy

3)They stayed focused on what the staff needed, and not what "administration demanded"

4)They contributed to staff education, and encouraged the staff to focus on how self education would benefit the patients.

5)they always had your back when confronting doctors or upper level administration

6)They were truly a "team leader" and not just a boss or manager

Currently I work in a very small behavior health hospital, we just hired a new Director of Nursing. She has been there about 6 months and has bullied everyone! Our turnover rate has increased. We are supported by a Union, and the number of complaints has been steadily increasing. She has "strongly encouraged 3 nurse managers to leave, and hired managers she worked with before. So she has created a selective team of her "friends" to help her run the hospital. I frankly told her that "her style of management may have worked with 'baby boomers', but Generation X and the Millennials, will not put up with her style of management." We left the meeting with the agreement, we both want to do what is best for the patients, however, our personalities do not work well together.

[jlavin26]

You are not the ENEMY! You have what I know is one of the hardest roles in nursing! Having been down this road several times then moving to a Director position (no day at the beach either), the main thing I learned is staff likes to have a scapegoat. If you're too authoritarian, they hate you, or if your "too nice" (which I was accused of) they hate you, so the best thing is to just do what you know is the right thing. You were given this position because the decision makers in your institution saw your potential. Become friends with the other nurse managers and I'm sure you will hear them all have similar complaints. And just keep in mind when you are promoted and someone else is given your position, you will then hear your staff say how great it was to work with you and how inferior the new nurse manager is. After being in this profession for >35 years I've seen this play out many times. Good luck and don't give up.Jeanne Lavin, RN, MBA, NEA-BC

[cruggi01]

Gosh, I think there is a camera on me or someone is reading my mind lol! But you did not mention the great things about being a nurse manager…mentoring a nursing student as a PCT into a new grad position and then seeing them flourish; connecting with other nurse managers and sharing best practices; I could go on and on. I believe implementing evidenced-based care and changing practice is the hardest thing we will ever do as managers but is also the most rewarding. There are days when I come home feeling beaten, battered and bruised but I take solace in knowing that if the practice in my unit has changed for the betterment of my patients, I had a good day”. I was always proud to be a bedside nurse in ICU because for my 2/3 patients I had that day, through my care, I know I made a difference in their lives.

I feel as a manager we are given the ability to effect so many more patient's lives through our leadership and guidance of our practice, staff and physicians. It is never, ever easy. Steve Jobs is quoted as saying Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do”.

I think as managers, we all love what we do, even the hard times, and have a great connection with each other that strengthens us as a whole:-)

[Clm118]

Been there and done this! My suggestion would implement a number of staff meetings they have to attend. In our union contract nurses have to attend 50%. Or you could try making them fun. Bring breakfast, encourage a pot luck dinner for an evening meeting. Things like that. Once you get them coming you can start to engage them more in THEIR unit. One thing I always figured on is that it is our unit and they are the most important people. Good luck!!

[Skippingtowork]

Been there and done this! My suggestion would implement a number of staff meetings they have to attend. In our union contract nurses have to attend 50%. Or you could try making them fun. Bring breakfast, encourage a pot luck dinner for an evening meeting. Things like that. Once you get them coming you can start to engage them more in THEIR unit. One thing I always figured on is that it is our unit and they are the most important people. Good luck!!

Bear in mind, many nurses have more than one job, or have children they have to care for or live far away. There is no reason why staff meetings cannot be held during the shift. Having frequent, but very short meetings may be easier than mandatory meetings, requiring staff to drive in, sometimes at great inconvenience. Those that cannot come in can be informed in a different way. This is 2017 and technology is available to us. Because staff meetings are not usually enjoyable, we have to try something different.