Why Do People Bully Me? - page 7

by TheCommuter Asst. Admin

34,403 Views | 70 Comments

Unfortunately, bullying is an unpleasant fact of working life for far too many employees in our society. And surveys have discovered that the two workplaces that suffer the most from bullying bosses are healthcare and education... Read More


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    mfill4545, don't give up on your dream of being a nurse, we need you! You worked to hard to get through the nursing program to let someone's behavior ruin it for you. I hope the counseling helps, because we need more good nurses in the world. Best of luck to you.
    forthebirds likes this.
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    Today, in clinical rotation as a student nurse, we were approached while reviewing a chart and warned directly by the nurse who identified herself as, "being here the longest, I do a little of everything around here", that the first thing we need to watch for is that nurses "eat their young".
    When she walked away, I told my colleague that the first thing we need to watch out for is the first nurse who, in spite of her purported experience felt the most important thing we could glean from her experience is that nurses "eat their young". Take it as a warning direct from the source!
    redhead_NURSE98! likes this.
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    To [COLOR=#003366]mfill4545[/COLOR]

    You went true PTSD the Preceptor made you relive past trauma from Coach. Either the bullying, harassment programs at your facility are inadequate or not being applied. But to see a teacher/Preceptor acting in such a manner is inexcuseable.

    I looked up def of Preceptor An expert or specialist, who gives practical experience and training to a student, especially of medicine or nursing. I didn't see harrassment nor condecending, nor belittleing behavior as part of that description!

    For my own style I am extremly confrontational when nessesary but not in work enviornment. But only after I have exhasted being assertive and I have a long fuse but after a point better off stayuing out of my way. But it takes a long time to get me there!
  4. 1
    Quote from mfill4545
    I had a horrible experience this summer. I am a new graduate nurse, and I got my first nursing job in the ER. I went in to the residency program. My nurse preceptor was so horrible to me - I think she could tell that I was nervous. She would call me retarded. I have since quit my job there - and, I now do not have the confidence to be a nurse. What I really needed to succeed was a good mentor, but unfortunately now, I don't know if I can ever go back to the profession. I had a high school coach who was both verbally and physically abusive, so when she began acting in a similar way, I totally cowered down. I am going through counseling now because of it. Some may say that I don't have a backbone - and that may be true...but, there is no reason that anyone should be harassing you in the workplace.
    This is horrible!!! I am so sorry you were treated this way. I hope that you can get past this and back into nursing! If you made it through nursing school then you CAN do this. Wow, I can honestly say that I'm embarrassed on this rotten nurses behalf!
    trai1971 likes this.
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    In regards to mfill4545 Abuse situation.
    SomEthing I believe that will benefit you would be either an EAP program or any group therapy that deals with Nurses. People who have undergone similar abuses at the hands of dysfunctional Nurses. It would provide you with a frame work to see how others have dealt with similar situations and also to see that it is a survivable even and you can work thru it and continue in a high paying field NURSING!!!
    forthebirds likes this.
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    The person I see bulling is a superior, any ideas on how to deal with that one?? No human resource dept.
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    Quote from jadavio
    The person I see bulling is a superior, any ideas on how to deal with that one?? No human resource dept.
    This is a tough situation.

    You can either play the game by stroking the supervisor's ego, or you can find another place of employment. If you and your coworkers come together in cohesive unison, you all can take your concerns to management since strength comes in numbers.
  8. 0
    directly confront the offender. Many bullies are cowards who will move on if given a piece of their own medicine. If they yell at you, yell back at them. If they become aggressive, throw some aggression back into their face. However, this strategy works only when the bully has just met you and begins to test your limits on how much abuse you‘ll tolerate, so let them know you won‘t put up with it. Remember that your first few interactions with a bully determine how he’ll treat you in the future. Confrontation often fails when the bully has been messing with you for months or years because the stage has already been set.
    I really like this. Sometimes I'm too self-conscious to do it, but it does work in the right situations. Often, a bully might think they're better than you and if you can show them that you're not going to take that kind of attitude, they'll back off and find a different target.
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    I had a "preceptor" as a new grad on a tele floor who would yell at me down the hall in front of patients, nurses, doctors, and belittle me whenever she had the chance. Her and her little friends would tell jokes with me as the butt of them on a regular basis. As a new grad, I was not at all confident in my skills, so I let it go on for a few days.

    Then I got angry.

    I stood up to each and every one of those nurses in my own way. I would confidently give my report of my patients, respond to any question they had with gumption. I went to my manager to inform her that I wanted a new preceptor. I also eventually went to human resources on one of the bullies, and stood there with my manager as the HR person and my manager rebuked her and her behavior in front of me.

    I never had any other problems with any of those girls, and they eventually got other jobs and moved on. My point in all this is that BULLIES NEED TO BE CONFRONTED, by administration, by bystanders, by victims, by other nurses who see it and walk the other way. They need to be told that their behavior is not acceptable, will not be tolerated, and that they will suffer the consequences if their behavior does not stop. Period.

    And another thing is this. Bullies would not be able to create their path of destruction if they didn't have others who saw their behavior and did nothing about it. Enabling bullies by remaining silent and walking away while they do it to others makes one just as guilty, imho.

    Instead of victims of bullies leaving their jobs, I think bullies need to be forced out. They need to know that no one is afraid of them, and that if they are not careful, they will be dealt with by administration, risk being humiliated and shamed, and will lose their jobs. Creating a hostile work environment by others should never, ever be ignored or tolerated.
    Mully, JeanettePNP, silverbat, and 1 other like this.
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    My first semester of nursing school I was so excited to be there. Right off the bat one of my instructors singled me out and called me a "little miss smarty pants." She humiliated me many times over. I politely addressed it with her....bad idea. Since then I have struggled over and over with being disrespected. I am older than even my instructors. I constantly am humiliated by students. It's like it is ok for everyone to degrade me and roll their eyes. When I raise my hands, the teachers talk to everyone but me. When I start to say something, people just walk off or start talking to each other. This has made me depressed in ways you can imagine. I am nervous and sometimes feel like I can't get through another day of it. We have 12 more weeks of nursing school left and I am quite, don't say a lot and am so disillusioned already with nursing I can't even tell you. I feel isolated in ways you could not imagine. I don't even know if they are going to pass me to preceptorship to be honest. It is not that I don't know my stuff, it's just the whole experience has weighed me down...I have the highest consistent grades (keep that to myself), but I dread every day and am tired of them coming to me one on one to show them a skill or drill me before a test and then in the next breath they mock me. My teachers started it....they keep it rolling. I hate nursing school and wonder if I made a bad choice for a second career.
    Last edit by Emily Spell on Feb 8


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