A Plea to Nurses Everywhere - page 6

by SarahLeeRN 18,165 Views | 62 Comments

I donít seem to process everything that I see, hear and do at work until I am home. My lack of reflection until later might have something to do with running around like a Looney Tunes character for eight or more hours caring for... Read More


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    Yes i have seen this . back in the restaurant business the bartender would yell at the waiter, the chefs yelled at the waiter, the waiters yelled at the hostess because someone else FAIRLY got a bigger table, the manager yelled at everyone. sarcasm and backstabing galore. human nature. in retail the floor managers and the merchaindising managers had their tiffs. The more stressful and adversarial the enviornment the morse this gets. crabs in a barrel
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    Quote from tewdles
    Sometimes the rudest behavior can be seen exchanged between close family members...just sayin
    familiarity breeds contempt. i am a strong believer in that.
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    I have also seen people being accused of being mean or rude for bogus reasons. like not smiling enough, not caring about someones bany shower, not doing other people's work because they are slow or incompetent. if you have the wrong fluids hanging and someone points it out, did not give stat meds in a timely fashion or did not report
    K of 6.9 to md or hgb 7 and someone in report says it should have been done. get over it . i have seen nurses so fed up with being accused of being mean by defensive, often incompetent nurses, that many seem to let them just go on and do things incorrectly. i try to do that but will not allow a pt to suffer due to hurt feelings . so
    i say things in a "by the way " manner. most appreciate it .some get too defensive Nd go crying to the manager. well ok from now on sink, and i will be emailing management every little error instead
    brandy1017 likes this.
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    An excellent article. describing varying symptoms seen in all areas of healthcare today. Two salient points mentioned;
    1. Description of lack of knowledge around the art and science in communication. Communication is a core study subject at many levels. The lack of knowledge of how we affect ourselves and anyone around us when we inadvertently raise our voices in frustration, fatigue, overwork and being just dog-tired from trying to meet every request thrown our way and the fallout resulting in hostility, more fatigue, greater confusion and finally, discouragement and burn out is a topic overdue for students and professionals. Contrary to popular opinion, affective communication skills are not taught. In fact, it is a competence which is largely taken for granted. ie. `everyone knows how to communicate`- a belief which is very misleading. Body language, expression, raised voices and hostile tones also signify the levels of frustration and failure of the nursing profession to offer its professionals support and training around developing effective every day communication skills in the front line.
    We are human beings and work in environments which are designed to give healing, hope and support to those in need. WE, as professionals are also in need of support, Nurses are not robots, in fact, this profession contains many levels of abuse and violence. Nursing leaders, academics and researchers are needed in this area more than ever.- and the starting point should be effective communication from its multiple asplects
    2. Nurses eat their young.
    I find this term an obnoxious and appalling statement which by right, should not exist as an excuse or reason. This statement actually allows, and even condones the rotten behaviours of nurses at all levels and is in direct violation of our professional objectives. If we can accept this as a raison d;etre, we inadvertently also condemn ourselves and perpetuate the problems of dysfunctional communication, lack of understanding, support and respect which we seemingly can supply to our clients but sadly fall short of among ourselves. The statement borders on violence and cruelty and should not be flaunted in any context. It is a sentence used repeatedly, without a valid defense..........
    1feistymama and SarahLeeRN like this.
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    Most of the interactions you describe our not old nurses attacking young ones. Most of it is most likely stress overload and lack of control over one's work environment. We are not given the option of taking time out and are expected to jump right away and quickly whether it be a new admit or phone call or family or whatever, yet when we need the rest of the hospital personnel to assist most of them act in a leisurely way and take their sweet time and don't feel that they need to jump. Why is it the aids always get their breaks, but many nurses don't? Exactly, because they feel fine saying no and taking their time, but try that as a nurse and it will lead to instant drama that you must stop what you are doing and do this now! admission now! phone call now!

    If we could have some control over our work environment and not be expected to jump stress levels would come down and things would mellow. Short of that, I don't think things are going to change! I do stand up for myself and it can lead to drama, but you know what I won't be walked on and I won't accept an unfair assignment or admission if it is unfair or unsafe. I will speak up and I don't care if other people don't like me. I don't usually refuse assignments or admissions, usually I take it in stride and accept this is how the day is going to go, but if something isn't right I will speak my peace!

    How wonderful it would be if we could work in an unhurried environment, take our time, not feel like we are walking into an assembly line, quick, jump, pass the meds on time, the computer is big brother. If the assembly line rat race mentality wasn't endemic in nursing stress levels would come down and people would be nicer to each other! Scolding us to be nicer isn't the answer, system change to a sane work environment is! Some things that will help is having an effective union and a safe staffing ratio like CA has!
    NurseFrustrated, sneeds, and anotherone like this.
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    Quote from That Guy
    I'm much more childish than that. I call every oh 2-3 minutes asking if now is a good time. After a few of those, I'll call the charge nurse to try and give report, then when they ask why I'm calling them directly I will explain to the charge why this is happening. Gets them in trouble by their charge and I can have my fun out of it. Oh and I usually will send them the second I hang up so there is no down time between report and when the pt gets there.

    It only ever has to happen once before the next time they are much more polite

    Calling every couple of minutes is rude and childish and only interrupts the nurse who is trying to get things settled with the present patients before taking another. Glad you recognize your childish behavior!
    catlvr and anotherone like this.
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    My last facility was notorious for nurse bullying. It is now being termed "lateral violence". It got so severe that I went into a serious depression and started questioning if I was a good nurse because so many of my coworkers put me down. I tendered my resignation and went to a new facility. It was happening there too, although not to the extent of my previous facility. In my RN-BSN I wrote numerous papers on it. I'm now in my master's, and I was able to apply theory to the issue, and by applying a borrowed theory from the social sciences, I started to see not only how widespread the problem is, but also the complexity of the variables that contribute to it. There is much research on it, and I think more people need to be aware, and not accept it as part of "normal" nursing culture.
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    In fairness to SarahLeeRN, when one reflects on anything, it has the effect of putting a spotlight on that problem during the time of reflection and this spotlight can, at times, magnify the situation. I thank you for creating this thread. Judging by all of the responses, you've obviously piqued the interest of many. I was also glad to read that you enjoy your workplace even though you see room for improvement when it comes to peer communication.

    I have to say I'm heartened by all of the posters who either don't see this behavior (or rarely see it). I, too, have heard of nurses eating their young and think "gosh, they were young once, too, have they forgotten??" I've taken MANY communication courses while in the business world, including communicating with people from other cultures (that seems to be a difficult one). It seems like no matter how many classes you take, you're still gonna rub someone the wrong way at least part of the time. And they'll rub you the wrong way as well.

    I find I respect those who have humility, those who admit their faults, MUCH more than those who think they're perfect. I can only hope that as I admit my faults and strive to correct them that my co-workers will see this as respectable behavior and not a weakness that puts a target on my back. Perhaps members on here who find themselves in similar situations can do the same.

    OR.......I may be wearing my rose colored glasses again. =)
    SarahLeeRN likes this.
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    I dont think this has anything to do with being a nurse or not. There are just some people that are mean and horrible and that is the way they choose to be. However, because we all have been tolerating it in the workplace is why this has become common place. No one is 2 years old or a dictator. And when the proper steps are taken to report such behavior it can be corrected or the person should be dismiss no one should have to tolerate such people and their horrible behavior all day. I am sure there are people out there that are qualified to do the job that will not be as nasty.

    Please report people like this. They do not need to be a nurse.
  10. 1
    Ok, I just have got to say, I've been an RN for less than a year now and have already experienced awful behavior. As a student, I had a preceptor who was very rude to me multiple occasions and I went home crying daily and convinced and I didn't want to be a nurse if this is how it was going to be. When I graduated and began working, I had a DON write me an e-mail that brought me to tears! I then went to another job where I have gotten along with all the nurses, but there are nurses who aren't willing to help other nurses but fully expect other nurses to help them, and some of the nurses are known to get rude if you disagree with them.
    I think witnessing this much violence in such a small amount of time is enough proof for me that there is way too much going on in the field. I love that there are nurses who don't have to go through this in their career, but you still need to know it's out there and needs to be corrected.
    g8sushma likes this.


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