The Patient I Failed - page 21

by nerdtonurse?

She knew what she wanted. She'd watched her husband of 52 years die on a vent, and followed his wishes to remain a full code. But she knew that was not what she wanted for herself. So, she wrote a Living Will, had it... Read More


  1. 1
    This is why I like the idea of being a Hospice Nurse. Patients are able to die with dignity and the way they want too.
    gratzey likes this.
  2. 0
    And this is why I love being a hospice nurse. Truly a privilege.
  3. 1
    First of all, you didn't "Fail" your patient...you were following orders (although I get it) but secondly, WHAT STATE DO YOU PRACTICE IN? I have been a Nurse for 17 years and NEVER have I heart of having to "Qualify" for DNR status! I'm in Illinois, a 20 yr old can be a DNR!

    That is VERY sad! but as you also know, ribs break when CPR is performed...I've even broke a few noses, when I couldn't get a good seal from the Ambu bag-

    I believe in a "Good Death" I also think we need to educate families on "Quality" of life vs "Quantity"

    I have a Sister that hasn't spoken to me since outr father died...He was in Multi system organ failure, and lungs were FULL of fluids...I asked the DOC for Morphine Sulfate for "Resp Distress" which thay gave to ease my Fathers suffering, he passed after a few doses, PEACEFULLY! As We Nurses know M.S. is a resp supressant, and can ease the transition (helps the family too, nobody wants to remember the final hours of with their loved one, DROWNING!) it's VERY taumatic!

    We put horses, and dogs and cats down for FAR LESS!!! I'm not advocating euthinasesa, but when you KNOW that the person is NOT going to survive, lets give them comfort!!! and make the transition a smooth one!

    I know this is controverseal, and I may even get some haters for this, but it's my opinion...

    Peace,

    Ed
    p_hawk likes this.
  4. 0
    I have long since retired from nursing but we used to have a little man whose family put him through @#%&! He was coded so many times, force fed through NG tubes, etc. His family rarely came to see him and they refused to let him go to a nursing home. So he would go home for a few days, then come back to the hospital to stay in ICU for 3-4 weeks. He was just a vegetable, couldn't talk much less walk or turn himself in bed. He had children who could have taken care of him but from the looks of him when he was brought back in every time, they didn't. We decided among ourselves that the family must have been after his monthly SS check which would have gone to a nursing home. I will never forget him.
  5. 0
    I had to leave ICU nursing because of situations like this, it was just too depressing! Living wills are only as good as the family you have following them or not in this case. This also just happened to my best friends father. He had a thoracic anerysm blow and they lost brain waves during surgery. Post op, he had an MI and a large CVA. The two brothers went against his living will and kept him alive for 1 month, hoping he would awaken. He aspirated and died the morning they were supposed to make a decision about sending him to a nursing home. We have an ethics committee for situations like this and get them involved regularly.
  6. 1
    To: LonKieffer

    Kudos to you; I agree with your post completely regarding the position that gtmahar posted. I have been an RN for 20 years and have basically worked in every area of nursing from Med Surg to Hospice; I have worked in ICU and Cardiology. I have been in the position many times Re: The Patient I Failed Article; she did not in any way fail her patient, the family or herself as a Nurse. The Article was very eloquent and very well written and you have nothing whatsoever to feel negative about. Many times I have been in this situation myself and have approach my Physicians to plead to them to intervene regarding stimulating a DNR status; encouraged them to initiate discussions with the family members and they have simply turned and walked away and left the situation to evolve in a course that many times are not favorable for the patient. There have been times when I have taken it upon myself to confront the family and basically have been called on the carpet for trying to be a patient advocate. It is a very difficult controversy to deal with and more times than not the Nurse becomes the scape goat if things go awry and someone is disgruntled about the care or the outcome.

    I just want this young lady to know that her actions and reactions were to be commended and you should let yourself off the hook and pat yourself on the back.
    gratzey likes this.
  7. 1
    I am so very sorry you experienced this...i know it will be with you for ever and probably wont be the last. I am not trying to be cruel....just understanding.
    I want to thank you for your devotion to your profession. She was very greedy and the doctors could have interviened as i have seen them do so many times during the thirteen years my husband was in and out of hospitals...(copd).
    Dear sweet nurse you cared for her to the best of your ability...you did not fail this patient...from what has been written ; you are the only one that did not fail this patient.
    I want to thank you for not playing god cause that has happened cause the staff could not handle the abuse being done to patients in this predictiment. In thirteen years sitting outside smoking you hear nurses,doctors,respiratory therapists,clerks,all hospital personel talk....you just there smoke your cigarrett; say a prayer the nurses are taking care of your loved one with all the devotion you showed this patient.

    May i stand and applaud you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    TDub likes this.
  8. 0
    Happens everyday. You didn't fail anyone!
  9. 0
    The selfishness of the family member has rendered me speechless.
  10. 0
    You didn't let her down. You gave her the compassion she needed during the hell her daughter put her through. I have been a nurse for many years and have seen the same, many times. If my children do this to me, I will forever spend my eternity making them pay. I have watch similar scenerios over and over. Infact your story was so well written, I'm going to print it and put it on my fridge hoping my children read and learn. It is awful to have to be the care provider for someone that is suffering and tired, and watching the family who supposedly loves them, allow and extend the suffering. That's why it's so important to have a POA that can be trusted to perform wishes according to your desires.


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