Lateral Violence

[Sensibility]

I have posted on this discussion board before about passive aggression not realizing that the term everyone would understand is "lateral violence." So we all know what it is. I have been dealing with this hell for 2 years now. I felt so locked into my job because it took me so long to get a job. I have gone up as far on the chain of command as I can. I have put in for a transfer. I have tried to appeal to these people but my head nurse is a master manipulator and no matter how many times I try, I am always put in a negative light. The meaner she is, the more I am forced to either pretend it isn't happening and ignore her or deal with it. She crosses the line when she messes with me professionally. I am so afraid of retribution. I work nights and nights are very difficult to staff. So that is yet another reason I can't deal with this. The hospital is unwilling to let her go even knowing how horrible she has been to me. The rest of the group of my peers gives in to stay on her good side because nobody wants to be on her bad side.

Has anyone dealt with this and if so, what worked? I am especially interested in people who have successfully gotten the administration to deal with the person without losing the respect of their peers.

Thanking you in advance.

[Sensibility, BSN, RN]

I also never stated remotely "suck it up and figure it out or quit." I'll just assume you were addressing another reply there. I very rarely tell people to "suck it up", generally only when they are making an issue out of nothing. I .

Who are you to judge what is an issue or not? In this type of situation, the "issues" do seem ridiculous when taken one at the time. It is only when you see the whole picture that it begins to be comprehended. I began writing every single incident down just so that I would remember them because I realized that folks like yourself were trivializing what I was going through. It was assumed that that initial write up was true. I was guilty until proven innocent and I had to pay lots of money to prove that it wasn't true by credentialing myself in a number of areas.

As to the video, we only know that he was gossiping about her because we were watching the video as outsiders. If this situation occurred in real life, the incoming nurse could only assume they were talking about her..

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Exactly. However, there are other telltale signs that one is being targeted for gossip. It creates a huge problem and bad attitude toward an individual who then becomes the scapegoat for everything that possibly goes wrong. People stop helping that person instead of just the person showing the initial lateral violence. People make snide remarks and roll their eyes constantly. This then lowers that person's self esteem and confidence as they are constantly being picked on. There is a constant dread of going to work not knowing what's coming next. This leads to callouts so that the rest of the staff are short staffed. This then leads to burnout for everyone. Some have even reported depression to the point of suicide. That's how serious this is.

The question isn't SHOULD we do something about it, it's HOW should we do something about it?

That is a truth. If you as a manager identify this and agree that it will no longer be tolerated, that is a beginning. Then the newbies need to be given ways in which they can respond and that you as a manager let them know that you are aware of these challenges. You could give them a catch phrase that will alert the person to cue the senior nurse that what they are saying is inappropriate. Actually, I think in the future, this is going to be so intolerant by the state boards and the Joint Commission that the victim will be able to file a complaint. Of course, it can't be one or two isolated incidences because that could just be one person having a bad day or something. In fact, if I had a person who was kind and nice to me the majority of the time and being helpful and then one day wasn't, I would probably ask, "Is everything ok?" One has to have some indication that this is happening on a constant basis. I did.

[Sensibility, BSN, RN]

Bullies come in all ages and education levels.

I was older than those bullying me personally. This isn't about age but seniority. As new people spend time in the hospital, over time, they became the senior nurses. So there is a constant cycle of new grads and new people coming in and learning the system.

Why not instead of being nasty and forcing people to go through this pseudo initiation, have these senior nurses use their teaching skills to teach the younger nurses concepts and skills. Everyone was new once.

[Sensibility, BSN, RN]

I would have to stop and ask myself, "is it worth it to continue to be treated this way after 2 years". OP, you can talk about EBP and cost all you want but the fact is, it is not helping you in this situation. While I don't know the details, I can tell you are obviously upset. This will lead if it hasn't already to stress, family/home issues, as well an overreaction to normal daily dealings with those we work with.. Save yourself and walk away.

You may be playing a role in this lateral violence/harassment or bullying yourself and just not recognizing it. You are getting something out of all of this simply because you stay. I by no means am saying this to be mean but is there a chance you are taking this too personal?? Negative attention is still attention..

This is the typical solution and the way it is administrated in hospitals. Either the perpetrator or the victim is moved to another unit, which is at least one way for the hospital to retain their investment in their nurses. When a nurse leaves, it costs that hospital money. The problem is that it doesn't solve the problem. The laterally violent individual simply moves somewhere else to begin again.

Are you kidding me? Getting something out of this? Oh, yeah, that must be my lifetime supply of Tums. What was I thinking?

[Sensibility, BSN, RN]

I have experienced bullying at work and here are my thoughts. There is personal and there is professional issues. Personal issues cannot be dealt with the same way. The example of being left out of activities outside of work or conversations pretty much you just have to ignore. You have to accept that you may not be friends with everyone at work. The goal is to create boundaries and gain the respect of others not get them to like you. I dealt with this stuff by letting it be water off my back. If people gossiped about me or called me out on things I didn't do I didn't try to defend my self as long as its threats they do nothing. Defending yourself and getting upset wot help. If they try to write you up that's when you go to a higher authority you show their error ( doing by hear say ect) and they can get in trouble they can't right u up from hearsay they can threaten bit u can ignore them.

There are third party organizations who can help to. I have a friend who used this route, but I think you will have much more success with whatever route/process you go through if you stick to the professional problems. Your boss or coworkers don't have to be nice or like you but they have to work as a team. So instead for example of saying how snooty they are keep track of and report real examples of how a person ignored you and it hindered a patient from being cared for. I think if you keep the two issues separate it will help. Personal bullying is bad but there's not always much that can be done. Many bullies don't care. So stick to the stuff that actually breaks the rules.

One last thing. I you make a mistake and are written up when others get away with it, try to remember two wrongs don't make a right. Ie it's still wrong when you do it. If others sit around and chat remember you aren't being paid for this. Take advantage of your alloted breaks and don't be bullied put of them they are yours BY LAW. Any way hope this helps just my two cents. You can't fix everyone else but you can keep yourself above reproach. These methods have really helped me at work.

I think one day I shall write a book about my experience because clearly it is impossible to make it clear without being explicit about what happened. But let me put your mind at rest. What happened to me happened as a result of making one of the senior nurses angry. She was angry because I inadvertently got one of her friends in trouble who blew a gasket in the middle of our unit over nothing when I asked a question. As per our hospital's protocols, I went to the management and asked them to ask this person to answer questions. Her friend set me up and retold these fictitious stories making me look like an absolute idiot and bottom lining her letter with the statement, "She doesn't hold to the standards of our hospital." I was in shock. That was part of my initial post. At that time, I assumed she was sincerely believing her own story. I didn't connect the dots at first. I was thinking that there were things I needed to change, but really I have seen others do those same things and worse and nobody is writing them up for not holding to the standards of the hospital. This person had a crystal clear motive of trying to get me fired and made no mistake about it. If some of my coworkers who really didn't know me for more than a few weeks hadn't said that these things were not true, I would have been fired that day and that is the truth.

This immediately put me in the position of having to prove that she was wrong. I am old enough to know that this is possible in life to demonstrate that someone has misjudged me. Over a two year period, other things occurred which I like to put on a scale of one to ten. Some issues were petty and ridiculous like turning my family's pic upside down on my locker. Good grief, that could have happened accidentally. Other issues I wasn't sure about. Was I being singled out or were these people sincerely having a bad day? I knew that initial writeup was done out of cruelty. But I had no idea what else was being done, which is part of the anxiety of this issue. As a victim of lateral violence, one doesn't know how deep the well goes. Other times, the person actually uses patients to get to the person and I knew those times were definitely deliberate and malicious. Those times, because it did involve patients, I took it to the management to handle. Still, the laterally violent individual, knowing that I am not gossiping to my peers (otherwise I would be a hypocrite as you say) uses that fact to generate sympathy in people who have not been their target and do not have all the facts. It then looks like in their eyes that I am the problem, when I'm not. I can't talk to them about this due to the hypocritical angle, which isolates me from the group. It is almost like dealing with a terrorist. I don't know when or where I'm going to be hit again. I only know that they will bide their time and hit me again under the radar.

I had to take two years of this nonsense before I had a case to present. And the EBP materials were part of that because workplace bullying is identified as yelling and screaming at someone, being outright negative, hitting, sexual abuse and other issues such as these. This covert stuff is now being identified as an equal if not worse issue that is costing the healthcare industry thousand of dollars in nurse retention issues, callouts, burnout, depression and other issues. So they are starting to see that it is a problem, thank God. And for those of you who poo poo EBP, this is the heart and soul of nursing anymore and what those who take nursing seriously are using to make decisions. Everyone's opinion here is moot. EBP uses statistics to prove a point.

[OCNRN63, RN]

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[Laurie52]

I think one day I shall write a book about my experience because clearly it is impossible to make it clear without being explicit about what happened. But let me put your mind at rest. What happened to me happened as a result of making one of the senior nurses angry. She was angry because I inadvertently got one of her friends in trouble who blew a gasket in the middle of our unit over nothing when I asked a question. As per our hospital's protocols, I went to the management and asked them to ask this person to answer questions. Her friend set me up and retold these fictitious stories making me look like an absolute idiot and bottom lining her letter with the statement, "She doesn't hold to the standards of our hospital." I was in shock. That was part of my initial post. At that time, I assumed she was sincerely believing her own story. I didn't connect the dots at first. I was thinking that there were things I needed to change, but really I have seen others do those same things and worse and nobody is writing them up for not holding to the standards of the hospital. This person had a crystal clear motive of trying to get me fired and made no mistake about it. If some of my coworkers who really didn't know me for more than a few weeks hadn't said that these things were not true, I would have been fired that day and that is the truth.

This immediately put me in the position of having to prove that she was wrong. I am old enough to know that this is possible in life to demonstrate that someone has misjudged me. Over a two year period, other things occurred which I like to put on a scale of one to ten. Some issues were petty and ridiculous like turning my family's pic upside down on my locker. Good grief, that could have happened accidentally. Other issues I wasn't sure about. Was I being singled out or were these people sincerely having a bad day? I knew that initial writeup was done out of cruelty. But I had no idea what else was being done, which is part of the anxiety of this issue. As a victim of lateral violence, one doesn't know how deep the well goes. Other times, the person actually uses patients to get to the person and I knew those times were definitely deliberate and malicious. Those times, because it did involve patients, I took it to the management to handle. Still, the laterally violent individual, knowing that I am not gossiping to my peers (otherwise I would be a hypocrite as you say) uses that fact to generate sympathy in people who have not been their target and do not have all the facts. It then looks like in their eyes that I am the problem, when I'm not. I can't talk to them about this due to the hypocritical angle, which isolates me from the group. It is almost like dealing with a terrorist. I don't know when or where I'm going to be hit again. I only know that they will bide their time and hit me again under the radar.

I had to take two years of this nonsense before I had a case to present. And the EBP materials were part of that because workplace bullying is identified as yelling and screaming at someone, being outright negative, hitting, sexual abuse and other issues such as these. This covert stuff is now being identified as an equal if not worse issue that is costing the healthcare industry thousand of dollars in nurse retention issues, callouts, burnout, depression and other issues. So they are starting to see that it is a problem, thank God. And for those of you who poo poo EBP, this is the heart and soul of nursing anymore and what those who take nursing seriously are using to make decisions. Everyone's opinion here is moot. EBP uses statistics to prove a point.

Are you the only one singled out or are others in your area also the target of bullies?

[Sensibility, BSN, RN]

Are you the only one singled out or are others in your area also the target of bullies?

Others too. Many nurses who are just nice people end up quitting. They aren't tough enough to handle these people.

[Sensibility, BSN, RN]

THIS. FWIW, the few times someone tried to bully me at work, it was a younger nurse doing it.

Almost every day, someone here references older nurses, usually getting in a dig or two about their appearance ("old hag" was one I spied today). Bullies come in all ages and education levels. They can be staff nurses, managers, even unit secretaries. Heck, I had a chaplain try to bully me. So, I don't buy that all victims of bullying are young, wide-eyed innocents suffering at the hands of old crones. In my one case, the chaplain was conspiring with a young secretary. I wound up getting fired from that job, but in the long run it was the best thing that could have happened to me because I got a much better job later.

That's very true.