... Thanks for taking the time to read my entry. Third level nursing student here. I have a lot of the typical glamorous plans that I won't bore you with. I'm writing today because I wanted to share my burdens, I guess, and reach out to those who've maybe been in my shoes, or plan on being in my shoes.
I just started an aid/tech position at a local LTAC facility. I really wanted this for the experience and the networking, and I'm sad to say I've had better jobs. Don't get me wrong; I love working with the patients. The patients are the best part of my day. My relationships with all of them have been rewarding in ways that I can't touch with words.
I've had a bit of a rough start for many reasons, one being my partial deafness (which has its own headaches); another being my lack of experience; another being a total lack of guidance from said facility; I could go on and on. There are nurses who are so happy to have me in the unit, but there are other nurses who, for whatever reasons, treat me with such disdain and total lack of respect that I sometimes walk away feeling like, "...w t h just happened?"
I'm a pleasant person, for the most part. In professional settings, I mind my Ps and Qs, I work hard and have a pretty great rapport with colleagues. I don't drink too much at Christmas parties. I don't post passive aggressive squabbles on FB. I'm silly when it's appropriate, and my relationships with people are generally rich.
My take-away from where I am now is that I know who and what I never want to be as a nurse, and as a person, but mostly as a nurse. I can't imagine what anyone else has gone through, because I honestly don't know. I know I can't change how people will treat me, but I know I can control how I respond.
There are so many nurses out there that I know I don't have to worry about that though, because I can genuinely be nascent, and curious, and ignorant about so many things and feel comfortable that it's ok, because they love to teach and have the compassion to do it well. It's scary to be ignorant, especially when someone else's life is in your hands. What makes it less scary, though, is a leader who can say, 'It's ok. I've been in your shoes before. It's good that you got to experience that so now you know what not to do. I'm glad I was here to save your ass. In the future, xyz would be a much more appropriate action to take.'
I know who you are. I've worked with you. I've read your posts here. All of you are a beacon of hope for this community. I want to be you one day. Thank you for your wise and compassionate guidance, because honestly, I can't be a good nurse without it.
I really hope that I can withstand the test of the nurse who eats her young....
