Abusive relationships and nurses

[Nacki]

As a nurse in the hospital setting I encounter abuse on a constant basis from other nurses, doctors and family members to name a few. We as nurses are told "not to take it personally","that's just the way they are," ect.... just to justify the abuse. My question is do you think it is easier for a nurse to "fall" into an abusive relationship because we are treated this way in our careers?

I was just thinking about this because I was once in an abusive relationship early in my nursing career. Luckily I was able to get out of it. I was recently yelled at by the wife of my patient for no apparent reason in front of another nurse and two doctors and was told "not to take it personally." I've also had two hostile run-ins with nurses in the past month. This type of treatment is getting to me. I can't stand not being respected and humiliated in front of my peers What do you guys think of this correlation?

[Vito Andolini]

GrumpyRN63,

I never thought to look back at my childhood...my family was not dysfunctional per say, I was the caretaker though since I was the oldest. I got into an abusive relationship soon as I left home at 18 and stayed for too long. As I said in my original post, I encouter it at work and am sooo tired of it and very sensitive (althought I may not show it at work) It kinda reminds me of the time I was with my ex. I don't know why people think its "ok" to treat nurses like a piece of crap.

Because you let them. Get counseling to help you recognize and deal with this issue.

Why were you the caretaker? Was there alcohol or some other serious problem in your family that required you to take care of others? Who did you take care of? Younger siblings? Your parents?

A lot of us have had to deal with this and you can, too. Things can turn out well, once you recognize the problem, which you already have, and learn to manage it, which you can.

Speak up nicely to problem people at work and let them know they cannot maltreat you, yell at you, take out their frustrations on you, blame you for things that are not your fault, or be ugly to you in any way. It will be very liberating for you. Just be nice when you speak up. Don't yell, curse, name-call, or be rude.

[Nacki, MSN, NP]

I was the caregiver in the sense that my younger brother is 7 years younger than me...he was looked (and still is) as my son to a certain extent. I have really wonderful parents. I never had to take care of them.