So far gone.....so disillusioned.

[mpolo]

Hi there,

I'm so disillusioned by the nursing industry. On the brochure, and even in the politically correct speech, everybody says, that the nursing industry wants more men in the field. How nice. Whereas behind your back, you get stabbed for being a man, and for learning, just as anybody else does, everybody needs to learn sometime.

I feel that as a man in this field, ppl look up to you to be Extra competent, More disciplined, More focused etc.

if you don't match this criteria, and are............gasp......just a student......which is what I am, you get thrown in the trash bin quite quickly.

Point to note.......all my friends in class have been given a graduate position next year at various hospitals.

I have more clinical experience, both paid (in the nursing home), and clinical placement, than my colleagues.

None of the males in my class, have been given a position. I feel that culturally, nursing prefers females.

and yes....this might stir some, to cry up...and give me a politically correct answer!!!!!

But atm, I feel that I have been discriminated against, the feedback that I requested from my applications and my interviews, was vague, unresponsive, and uninspired. How am I supposed to take these ppl seriously, if they won't even give me an honest answer, as to how to improve as a Health Care Professional? Is nursing really for men?

It has gotten this far....honestly. I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel very despondent, a bit depressed, that no matter what I do, my efforts not only will not be recognized (which im not expecting), but totally discounted. I feel that my gender....as a male.....is going against me.

Where to for this disillusioned final year nursing student? I still work in the nursing home, and i love it!

I like taking care of ppl, but feel that there is an injustice....(my perception? pls anybody...tell me if I am wrong).

But also.....i find it challenging to speak to ppl who are non healthcare based, especially if I have an interest in the girl.....the moment i mention nursing.....she feels that I am just so kind and lovely, and ace.....and yet the sexual interest seems to wane a bit....this is FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!

where to for me? I honestly feel so betrayed by the nursing culture, in fact..........i dislike the culture, and the sexual perceptions that are placed on men A LOT. I feel so disempowered. Obviously if I would be treated like the young and up and coming male nurse professional, this would be great. But even during the interviews.....one of the interviewees said to me.....oh, what happened to you? You haven't got a job yet? Why doesn't anybody like you?.......and I don't even know the nurse recruiter. pls explain. I am frustrated, angry, disillusioned, feel emasculated, and I know that I would do everything in my power to help my patients. The culture.....seems to feel that some men, such as myself, are inappropriate to the profession? Why....because I'm a man? never have i flirted with my female colleagues on the ward. I have been flirted with.......but I cannot respond....just have to ignore. how is that....that females can be cheeky to the male staff.....(im sure this is a generalization), and the male staff, have to cop in the balls, hang their heads and attend to their patients...as their hot female colleagues play out their little hormonal games. Y? Mebbe this nursing culture is not for me. because this is killing me.

although I am all for the patient, the nursing environment, is something that is terribly painful to me as a man, because of the sexual pre-conceptions, my prohibition.....to act on my natural male hormones (which is very painful to control) and respond to the flirtations of my female colleagues. I am at a cross-roads...and I know that this something that I need to address. Either get some regular sex, and control my hormones outside of work,

or leave nursing altogether....to pursue something like medical sales etc, where the culture does not bust my balls.

please enlighten. i am frustrated, disillusioned, disempowered and distraught.

[MN-Nurse, ASN, RN]

Your weird focus on the hormones and flirting leads me to believe your issues may come more from within than without.

[Rob72, ASN, RN]

Your weird focus on the hormones and flirting leads me to believe your issues may come more from within than without.

Yeah, I'll pretty much agree with the above, but I'll go a bit deeper.

My suspicion is that you are having a SES conflict- i.e., the women you're dating/interested in have different social expectations than you do.

If you are marriage-minded, this isn't a particular problem, you'll just have to screen your female counterparts (in Nursing/Healthcare) with a "Marriage Filter", i.e., "yeah I want to date, but I plan on commitment".

If you want light-n-easy nookie, then, yes, you're sending mixed signals to the ladies flirting with you. I hardly recommend casual sex among co-workers, but if that's your interest (personal, not professional), I'm sure that leads to frustration.

Essentially, your issue is that you need to decide where you wish to pursue your social interests, in order to build confidence in your professional pursuits.

This fellow may put some perspective on your commodities quandry, esp. his most current posting::)

http://bastiatblogger.blogspot.com/

I've known him (on-line) for several years, and his thoughts are both insightful and multi-discliplinary.

[girlwith1eye]

I know plenty of male nurses who do fine in the industry. I'm sorry you haven't been having the same experiences, but seriously dude... welcome to the real world. I mean really, women get discriminated against WAY more than men do, not necessarily in nursing but most definitely in other fields, so suck it up and either find a different career, or find a counselor.

[Rob72, ASN, RN]

I know plenty of male nurses who do fine in the industry. I'm sorry you haven't been having the same experiences, but seriously dude... welcome to the real world. I mean really, women get discriminated against WAY more than men do, not necessarily in nursing but most definitely in other fields, so suck it up and either find a different career, or find a counselor.

Hardcase.

[Bob_N_VA]

I'm sorry, I could not follow the stream of consciousness with all the funky grammar and incomplete thoughts and sentences. It almost comes across like you were high when you wrote it. Bottom line, if your friends are finding positions and you are not, maybe a little bit of introspection is needed? If you can't get your own $#!+ in order, how are you going to help your pt's? Seriously, grow up.