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- Mar 6, '12 by xoemmylouoxWhen my husband's mother was dying she frequently talked to those who had passed away before her. This went on for months until she died. She would have whole conversations, but at the end of them she would always say no I am not going yet or I'm not ready to go. His mother did not want to die and fought well past any of us thought she would.
- Mar 6, '12 by momof2guysI have multiple stories, hope not to bore y'all. On nights we worked each shift with 2 nurses, this normal night I had admitted a lady she was mostly responsive choosing when to talk and when she chose to she let her lips fly....very nasty speaking to any staff who dared to enter her room. Anyways she was awake for 3 days prior to progressing to an unresponsive state, during this time she had No family, No visitors or phone calls . It was soooo easy to feel sorry for her but we all have heard the saying " u reap what u sow". Apparently she was a difficult person. When she was very close to passing another nurse and myself was at bedside holding her hands so she would not die alone. At her moment she stiffened up and instead of the peaceful expression were so used to seeing she had an expression of total terror- sheer terror on her face. With out thinking We stepped back from her, not sure why. I've never experienced anything like that since and pray that I never will again, once was enough for me. I'm strong in my faith, this one event has stayed with me thru the yrs and I suppose it will until I die.
- Mar 6, '12 by ws582That gives me chills. It sounds like most of the deaths are peaceful. Is that right? I've been reading a lot of hospice care books and was wondering if it's unusual for people to suffer at the end like the lady you spoke of. I've worried about that going into this field.
- Mar 6, '12 by momof2guysI've only seen this once...I really believe that hospice is a calling. You need to know where your comfort zone is, does death scare you? For me it's a part of life-the same as birth..... I feel that a nurse needs to know where his/her spirituality is to have a peace working this job. You will know rather quickly if hosice is a fit for you.
- Mar 30, '12 by thegrayeyedgirlI agree with you...birth and death are all part of the same cycle of life and should be treated with equal care and consideration. That's why hospice is the field I've chosen
- Mar 31, '12 by tewdlesI had a patient tell me once that her mother was visiting her in the evenings, sitting on the side of her bed. She told me they were very nice visits, but, since her mother was dead she knew that this was meaningful. I simply held her hand and comforted her...she died within days of that visit.
Many, many people have spoken to me of visitors in their last days/weeks, even atheists. One guy in particular spoke of a very nice young man who was very handsome with beautiful blue eyes that visited him every evening. Ol Pete (not his real name) told me that they young man smiled a lot but never said anything, just sat next to him. He really enjoyed the visits. Pete was an atheist but he was comforted by those visits. I never suggested to him that the young man was not really there or was something other than what he said he was.
An elderly woman of christian faith told me of an angel that stayed with her, up in the corner of the room by the ceiling. She was comforted by that presence.
A young girl once told her mother several evenings in a row about "sparkles" that were in her room near the ceiling above her bed at night. The mother could not see them. The child was not afraid and found them comforting. When I attended the near death visit of the grandmother (she died during my stay) the child and mother arrived and the little girl said..."look mommy, gramma has sparkles too". Of course, we could not see them.
Many, many people reach out and/or open their eyes just before death. My mom opened her eyes, smiled, and took a last "sigh" of a breath.
We are each intitled to our opinions of what these things mean. I am comforted by them.