You think an "oasis" is a new book.
You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
You learn about your layoff on CNN.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
"Communication" is something your group is having problems with.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in the hospital.
Art involves a white board.
You're already late on the assignment you just got.
You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
Your boss's favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.
Change is the norm.
Nepotism is encouraged.
The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.
You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
You read this entire list and understood it.