Selfish Husband or Lonely Husband.....I am Just Saying!!!

Nurses Stress 101

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Specializes in med/surg.

Ok So I work night shift....Hx: Became new RN and began working May of this year :nurse: Well, My husband was so supportive in the beginning. "Great Job" and stuff like that...I was so proud of myself. Very positive with all the extra cash coming in and me finally being able to do my dream job. Plus, I love night shift only 3 shifts per week and 4 days off. They only had night shift available when I was hired. No biggy! :D

Ok so just within the last 2 weeks my husband has been very unsupportive. Saying things like "I am so lonely at night", "I have to hang out by myself in the mornings till you get up" "Your job is ruining our marriage", etc...

Now, mind you, that I get up at 3 pm and clean, cook, wash a load of laundry and off too work. And hubby come home from work and sits on his a$$. He helps cooks sometimes, but never does laundry or cleans. But I never complain that the hour that we see eachother before Im off to work, he sits and plays video games or is on his computer. He is also a DJ on the weekends and I always go and support him where ever is playing (even tho the places he plays are boring). I don't complain, I get it done. When I come home in the morning I wake up at 1 or 2 pm so we can hang out!

He keeps his same schedule 7-4pm Monday thru Friday. Friday night and Sat night Dj till 3 in the morning. Then I go back to work on Sunday night usually. I complain and ask him to stay up later and watch a movie with me, but he says it is my schedule that is causing the problem in our relationship! That I am choosing nursing career over him and I am reminding him of his workaholic father who could only talk about his profession daily.

I just don't get it! Should I talk to him again about how I feel? What can I do? I don't want my marriage to fail over something that I don't think is a problem.

Sorry so long, typing this while I'm internally venting!:confused:

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Sounds to me like he is being selfish and feeling threatened. He needs to get with the program and stop acting like he is 5yrs old, stomping his feet because he is not getting his way. A relationship is give and take, takes work and is a living thing. It's not always going to stay exactly the same and he needs to adjust (as well as you, which it sounds like you are). You should be allowed to grow without being made to feel guilty. If you want the relationship to work, try to keep "shop talk" to a minimum and give him some tender loving care while he adjusts.

Best wishes

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Specializes in Ambulatory Care, Case Manager.

How are you financially? Does he really need the DJ job? Maybe he can alternate working one weekend and take the weekend off when you have it off. Or take a Friday or Saturday off (when you have it off) so that you can spend time together.

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.

Ugh, a few posts like this lately.:crying2:

Unfortunately, I believe you've married someone who is still living in what our social-sciences people are calling the new, "extended young adulthood".

I had a son-in-law in the same position.

He needs a mentor. A man who doesn't believe Call of Duty is something you play. If he'll do it, a counsellor who's able and willing to hold him to a higher level of accountability would be good.

Good luck!

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Specializes in med/surg.

thanks for the great responses...We are great financially just wanna pay off my school loan and don't wanna take it to the great...But we have enough money to do whatever with... Yea I will keep talking to him tho...Figure out whats wrong. After all I am a nurse and great assessment skills are critical

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Specializes in med/surg.
:yeah:
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