New PICU nurse in desperate need of support

[pedsnurse22]

Hey everyone,

I'm brand new to the sightoso forgive me if I make a few mistakes in my post. I am a new graduate, just graduated in August. I got a job in the PICU and am coming off orientation in a couple of weeks. I work night shift. I was so convinced the PICU was where I wanted to be and now I'm really not so sure. I feel sick before every shift, I dream about terrible things happening at work and obsess about work in my days off. The staff on the unit is somewhat receptive to a new grad but there have been times I've been left alone to do a task I really don't feel entirely comfortable doing. Night shift is messing with my schedule and I just feel alone, depressed, lost and confused. I have an amazingly supportive boyfriend and family which helps but I'm still unhappy at work. I don't want to ask for a transfer yet because I feel like it will be looked down upon for not giving it a go for at least 6 months to a year. But I don't know how much longer I can take feeling like this. I'm not a sad person but lately that's all I've been. Is what I'm feeling normal? Any advice and help would be so appreciated. Thank you

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

That first nursing job is going to be a reality shock. You go from the protected environment of the school where you have an instructor backing you up, and in most cases aren't taking a full patient load. In addition to that loss of backup, you are now in a specialty where you probably didn't spend much time as a student. First things first, take a deep breath. What you are going through is very common for new grads. Generally, it is going to take about a year to feel comfortable in your new role.

You mentioned being alone to do tasks you aren't yet comfortable. Have you asked for assistance or someone to be an observer who can offer tips/moral support? It's important for you to speak up, and ask for help when you feel it's necessary. If you don't ask, none of your coworkers are going to know that you need some help.

You also mentioned obsessing about work on your days off. That is a little different than the norm for most, but then what do you mean by obsess? It may help to talk about your concerns with someone from your employee assistance program or a counselor. You are going through a big change in life- sometimes, people just need a little help dealing with it.

[pedsnurse22]

Yes I was thinking about calling my EAP. I mean I obsess in the sense that the majority of my thoughts on my days off center around work. Work thoughts invade my mind even when I'm not at work. Thanks for the advice. It's nice to know I'm not just going crazy