I've posted on here before that I struggle with anxiety and depression..currently I use herbal type remedies but unlike many others it seems, I've had little, if any success and think I've reached a point where medication may be the only option I have left unless I want to spend my life like I have the past few years..which I don't..the problem is my anxiety and depression is effecting my confidence and ability to make sound decisions about everyday things..for instance...I recently started a part time position in an office..the people are nice, the job however, is boring..very routine, very predictable, usually the same patients.
My thoughts at the time of accepting this position was it would give me stability, income, no nights/weekends/holidays/call/no 12+ hr shifts, it's close to home and this position would allow me to settle down and take a good look at where I want to go personally and professionally. I will also be starting on the last 3 classes for my Masters in 3 wks. I could use more hours but we can make it on this plus my spouses income as we don't live beyond our means. I have tried to be proactive - have made an appt with my primary care doctor to get a check up and also a psychiatrist for my mental health - both of which are next week.
The problem is today I was offered another job I had applied for and interviewed for around the same time..it pays $1.00 (yes a dollar) more,t would be more hours a week but not in an office, lots of driving and call would be involved with possibly night/weekend visits, I also have a few days out of town training which I would drive back and forth for (150 miles round trip) at my expense (paid for the orientation). These people are aware I do not want FT at this point but I think based on some things that were said, pressure will be applied once I get through orientation to go FT.
My spouse thinks I should stay where I'm at, finish my degree (which will be in Dec) then look for something else. By that time, my spouse says, I will be better/stronger physically/emotionally and mentally.
My problem is I am so overwhelmed by the slightest things that this seemingly easy decision has placed me in a tailspin. I feel stupid and have no confidence in myself to decide. It's like part of my brain is paralyzed. I know this can be part of what depression and anxiety do. I'm not sure this post even makes sense...but any feedback would be appreciated.
I'm really at a loss. I use to be so sure of myself - no anymore.
