Are your significant others NOT so supportive?

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Here's the deal, it's not that my husband doesn't want me to go to nursing school. He's all for it, always has been. He "says" he is right there for me, backing me the whole way. But, I think actions speak louder than words. He doesn't pitch in to make things any easier around the house for me, as a matter of fact he just goes on doing his thing like before I started. We have 3 children and I work full-time. It's like as long as it isn't going to inconvenience his life too much, thumbs up for school. When I come home and talk about what happened in lab, or how stressed I am for this or that he looks at me so exasperated (denies it though) like I am just boring him to death or annoying him. How can I not come home and talk about my day? Is that just a "woman" thing? ha Thanks for letting me vent guys! SG

Nope, not a women thing at all. It's "human" thing to vent about our day. My husband does it too....vents about his day at work. It's a sort of our little ritual, to tell each other about our day while we prepare dinner. We get it out of the way, so we can relax later. It is easy to try and over talk our spouse though.....my husband finally pointed out that I did more talking than listening. Now I try harder to listen to him too.

Have you tried asking him why he looks at you the way he does? Maybe it's that he feels helpless about you being stressed? Be open and honest and make suggestions about things around he could do around the house to make your life a little easier. Sometimes, if you don't just say it.....they just don't get it. Good luck. :)

WAstudent hit it on the nose. NEVER assume they get it. Most men should come with instructions pinned to them somewhere including the fact that all important actions and reactions must be programmed by the significant other. There have actually been studies showing that men are far less competent at picking up body language signals. There are others that uncovered the fact that things laying out around the house...crusty or not...are usually not seen by men. We must show them. Apparently, their brains clump things together a lot more than women. We see far more detail in the world than them. We, for instance, would never group a 3-day-old tuna sandwich with "furniture" in our brains.

I'm rambling...

Point, point, point....I have one.... Oh! Don't hold his reaction against him until you specifically tell him what you need...and THEN he doesn't do it. Then that's not being a man...that's just being inconsiderate.

My husband has determined that he is helping out dramatically by doing the laundry once or so a week :rolleyes: . I'm not as convinced, we have a young baby and an 8 yo... allow me to reitterate that he does the laundry. That's it. Any parent knows all the other stuff he could pick from. I've pretty much written mine off...I graduate in December and can make it until then. You, though, need to let yours know

v e r y c l e a r l y...then form your opinion.

[ Be firm!! My husband was the same way. I finally just said, I going to make sure the kids are fed and have clean clothes. If that is done, I leave the house and go to the library.. They will start to get the picture.. Mine did!!! Good Luck 3rd week nursing student with 2 kids, 11 and 6. And oh yeh, a husband.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

tredQUOTE=enfermeraSG]Here's the deal, it's not that my husband doesn't want me to go to nursing school. He's all for it, always has been. He "says" he is right there for me, backing me the whole way. But, I think actions speak louder than words. He doesn't pitch in to make things any easier around the house for me, as a matter of fact he just goes on doing his thing like before I started. We have 3 children and I work full-time. It's like as long as it isn't going to inconvenience his life too much, thumbs up for school. When I come home and talk about what happened in lab, or how stressed I am for this or that he looks at me so exasperated (denies it though) like I am just boring him to death or annoying him. How can I not come home and talk about my day? Is that just a "woman" thing? ha Thanks for letting me vent guys! SG

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Sounds like there are some issues that need to be talked about one on one. Men can be so insensitive without realizing it. Then the woman can't take it any more and blows up and the man is left scratching his head "where did that come from?".

So best to communicate your needs and expectations from the get go rather than expect that he can read your mind.

Also, sometimes when a person grows, learns and improves themselves the other spouse has issues with that.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. :)

Men can be so insensitive without realizing it. Then the woman can't take it any more and blows up and the man is left scratching his head "where did that come from?".

ROFL!:chuckle Ain't that the truth! My husband has looked like a deer in the head lights several times followed by that long look of confusion!

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
ROFL!:chuckle Ain't that the truth! My husband has looked like a deer in the head lights several times followed by that long look of confusion!

:rotfl:

Funny, but oh so true. We men just don't get it sometimes. :p

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