Why its Personal, Why I want to be a nurse. The best advice I was given

[honeyforasalteyfish]

I suffer from Crohn's disease. Its why I want to be a nurse. When I was 18/19 I was accepted to a state university. I flunked out, because I was bleeding internally, and lost 60 pounds instead of taking a medical leave of abscense,

Later on I developed depresion, and it turned into ideas of reference that ruined what happiness I had found in my life. I have found the depresion much harder to deal with than the crohn's despite on paper being much easier to treat.

For years it wrecked my life unchallenged. I will not be defined by my "conditions"

I have found higher education, and treatment of my depresion has done mircales for my psyche all I ask for is a chance to comeplete my education before it is to late.

I have lost a lot of friends because of it, burned bridges, and bitter feelings left in the wake.

I find I don't care. Because for once in my life the ball's in my court, I define my own future, not what other people percieve me to be based off my past. How could they possibly understand.

I tried commiting suicide three times, I made up this nonsesne about going to Ireland, but really what I had just done was try to kill myself. I was expecting to die.

I take a risk posting this, becase of my ambitions, I find I no longer care, I will not be defined by my past. I enjoy the present for the first time in my life.

My future is for me to decide, and no one else. Any one who says otherwise is no friend of mine.

I want to be a nurse practitioner someday, and I find all my bridges between former friends are burnt. You know what that is ok, they are my past, my future is education. My future is in bettering myself every step of the way. I will succeed, because after all I have been through nothing less is acceptable to me. I will achieve my goals, or die trying.

I risked my life to take my finals only a year ago. I was told I could die if I took my finals, you know what the difference between my 19 year old self, and my 26 year old self.

I thought it worth the risk, I know what I would do with the last days of my life, and that is go to school, work for my education.

I will suceed one way, or another, nothing can stop me now, that I have finally beaten the demon that is depresion to an utter unrecognizable pulp. I can look at myself in the mirror again, and I find I like the feeling.

I was told I was an inspiration to another student who had just been diagnosed with a chronic illness. She wants to be a nurse. You know what she is an inspiration to me she decided on nursing before she was diagnosed.

I decided to pursue it because it is personal to me, in every way shape, and form. It is the most personal thing I have ever done. More personal even then asking a woman to marry me. Its personal because I feel like my illnesses have held me back.

At 27 I feel like I should be married getting ready to have a family instead I find myself back in college, convinced I will never get this opportunity again, and in all likelihood I won't.

Its personal because I don't want to be defined by my depression, or my Crohn's. I don't want to be judged unfit by people who have never known me, but see a psych hospitalization, and assume I am unfit for duty.

Its personal because I feel like my depression, and Crohn's go hand in hand. I didn't become depressed until I developed Crohn's and was forced to leave college. I wasn't depressed until I nearly slipped into a coma from internal bleeding.

My life, my ambitions, my goals, my desire to be a nurse any way I can is more personal to me than then anything I have ever done in my life. I don't know If I will even be allowed to become one because of my psych hospitalizations, but I am find I am tired of being disappointed.

I find no risk is to large to achieve this goal, as long as it lays within the bounds of my moral compass. Never ever let any one tell you, that you cannot do something.

Define yourself, because at the end of the day, its you who has to look in the mirror.

[direw0lf, BSN]

I'm glad you worked through your personal problems and stabilize your physical ones. I could see you writing an inspirational book for nurses or students :) If I may quote an author I love "Go back?" he thought, "No not good at all. Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do!" -JRR Tolkien

[honeyforasalteyfish]

I'm glad you worked through your personal problems and stabilize your physical ones. I could see you writing an inspirational book for nurses or students :) If I may quote an author I love "Go back?" he thought, "No not good at all. Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do!" -JRR Tolkien

Ya I agree. Another way of putting it "Get busy living, or get busy dying." I decided to get busy living. First though I must become a nurse, and that is a lot of work. I find though the work is meaningful to me.