Sooo... I know nothing ever goes exactly according to plan, but as a normal human being I'm kind of trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and in what order, so I know what I need to do and when to try to make those things happen. You never know what curves life will throw at you, but I'd like to have a general "plan" to run by and I'm trying to decide what such a plan might look like for me.
I'm 21, married, and starting nursing school this fall. My nursing program is three years and at the end I will have a bachelor's degree in nursing. (I'll graduate in June of 2014 - and I'll be 24.) I want to go on to midwifery school, before which I will need to have, at the very least, a year of experience in labor and delivery nursing as an RN. But from what I hear, it is basically impossible to get into the labor and delivery specialty as a new grad, so I will, in all likelihood, work for an unspecified length of time in another area of nursing before I can squeeze my way into a L&D position. This is certainly not a bad thing, it'll help me be a more well-rounded nurse, just means I have to consider that extra time in a non-L&D position into my planning (could be a year, could take three!).
ALSO, my husband and I want children at some point. I would like to have three children, if I am able. And because studies have shown it to be better on mother and baby's bodies, I want to wait at least a year and half after giving birth to start trying to conceive again. I really like the idea of being completely done with all school before having kids, but I also want to be done having kids before I'm 35, which might not happen with a probable 3-5 years between the end of nursing school and starting a two-year midwifery program to become a CNM.
So I'm considering having kids after nursing school. I'll be 24 and we'll have been married for 4 years, which means we'll have had time to just be "us" before adding in the children. I'll only be working when they're young, not work AND school - at least until the youngest is maybe 4 or 5 (if I aim to go back to midwifery school when I'm about 35). My concern, though, is being in school with three kids. Do you think it would be way too hard? Would it be better since they might be a little older by then?
I do like the idea of having more years of experience under my belt before moving on to advance practice. Not that I'm worried that I couldn't do it, it would just be nice to feel so super-comfortable with all the things I already know, that I could dedicate my time and energy to learning the new things in midwifery school. Of course, going to school with children at home still seems daunting to me, especially because I like to put a lot of effort into knowing and learning everything really well....
Not sure. I do have lots of time to decide, but if you have any input or advice for me based on what I wrote or if you could tell me what you're planning or have done as far as balancing school and kids, etc. feel free to chime in! Thanks for reading!
Aug 3, '11
I too tried planning my life out like that, but then realized I was just going to go with the flow. Besides, what happens if you get pregnant next year, then what lol? I would focus on school as long as you can, but be prepared for anything to happen. I keep putting off on having kids because "Im not ready" or "I still have this or that to do". My mom said if I keep doing that then Ill never have kids because a lot of times you will never be in a perfect situation. I pray that it just happens so I don't have to make that decision. lol. jk.
Having kids is going to be hard regardless of being in school or not. Know that I have seen several people have kids and complete nursing programs
or graduate programs. If you want both that bad then you will make it work.
One of my main concerns about having kids soon after graduating is that being a new grad means you get a lot of the undesired shifts. Can you imagine being pregnant and working the night shift? That's gotta be tough! Also, I hear the first year of working as a nurse can be just as stressful as school. Do you want to add being pregnant on top of that stress? Again, if you want it that bad then you will deal
I know how you feel. I want to start a family in the next couple years, but I also want my career...
Aug 3, '11
With the caveats everyone is different, nothing works out perfectly blah, blah, blah...
I would work for a year as an RN then start trying to get pregnant, which could take a year or so..or not
Then after your first baby is one start looking for a L/D nurse job if you don't have one yet. Once you've settled in (6 months maybe?), start trying to become pregnant again. After all your pregnancies and when your youngest is around 4 enter the midwifery program. In my experience 4 year olds are much more independent, and you can really start devoting more time to other things. You will have a wealth of experience both personal, and professional to help you be a great Midwife.
And being a mom and student is hard. So is being a working mom. And a stay at home mom. I've done all of them at one time and each one is grueling and wonderful in it's own way.
Aug 4, '11
Lol I LOVE that you have your life all planned out like that, I'm the same way!! Most of my "dear diaries" are just timelines for my life plan.