Nursing school changing husband's behavior?

[buddiage]

Just curious how many wives have to deal with a husband who feels like they have to give opinions on your ability of being a nurse. Any husbands feeling like they will lose "control?"

I've got one who "just wants to help me" but comes across as a total vote of no confidence. I've been informed that if I don't put away the blender in the same place, that I will have difficulties being employed as a nurse, and that I'll probably get into trouble for putting things back incorrectly.:smackingf I can't believe my spouse can predict the future and tell me what kind of nurse I'll be. This is the one who also told me I'd probably drop out of school.

Can you believe that!?!? Anyone else get treated like a "kid" or is this just a common thing in marriages regardless of gender? Has nursing school really changed the dynamics of your relationship with your husband?

Don't want to step on the toes of all you decent guys out there. I'm feeling that being a stay at home mom for the last ten years has made him think I might be disabled and clueless.

K

[mkcrturner]

My hubby is planning a cruise with my first earned money- LOLOLOL

I have been a SAHM (stay at home mom) for 6 years- so money has been really tight for us.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Miranda's advice was excellent!

I was a stay-at-home mom when I went back to school and I never lost my "independant" mind . . . . I really don't get the SAHM = brain dead.

My husband was very supportive and the fear of me leaving him never came up. He was just great when I'd doubt myself.

steph

[EmerNurse, BSN, RN]

My husband was awesome while I was in school - in fact the kids were too!

That said, I did get the occassional "maybe you won't need me anymore when you make more money as a nurse..." type of thing. When he did that, he'd get an extra snuggle or two, and I'd lead the conversation into all the things WE could do once I had that RN after my name. Planning for a changed but better future together seems to do the trick.

Course, neither of us counted on just how darn TIRED I am all the time LOL. He's a computer programmer (we're both puter geeks) and honestly, the idea of sitting at a desk writing some non-threatening, non-abusive, non-coding (!) code sounds like heaven. And he STILL makes more than I do (bah).

[Lisa CCU RN, RN]

Geez, is there a case of insecurity going around, cuz this is not the first time this has been discussed on this board?

Remind me to talk to my son about being supportive and kind and then he wouldn't have to worry about his wife/girlfriend leaving. For that matter, I'll be sure to tell my daughter to avoid being with little insecure boys in men's bodies!

This really burns me up. If he is just being insecure, well I guess him treating you like crap is REALLY gonna want to make you stay, now isn't it?

Sit him down and put your foot down now. He is bordering on being verbally abusive with comments like that. Actually, he IS being verbally abusive.

Put a stop to it now.

Good luck.

[RN1263]

yeh, he's insecure. i have one of those also and i could smell it all over your post before i read the replies!

mine was very supportive when i was doing my pre-reqs, BUT when i got into the program......that's when he must have realized i was actually going to be a nurse and the insecure comments started flying.

I've heard it all and won't bore you w/ it, but i will say he probably doesn't even realize what he's doing. basically, he's afraid for whatever reason!! (you'll leave him, you'll make more money, you won't need him, on & on....)

I started pointing out to my husband what he was doing and why i thought he was doing it, he opened up about his fears and things got better for awhile, but unfortunately it will probably continue to be a battle sometimes. just the other day i was studying and my hubby started interrupting me every 5 min literally. finally, i said "are you trying to Sabatoge my study time"??? ....well, that comment nipped the interruptions in the bud!...so, like w/ a child you need to keep reinforcing your position & what you will and won't tolerate.