NEED somebody to revise my personal statement...

[swtgurl]

I need to have these 3 questions answered......

a) Why nursing?

b) How, if it all, does nursing fit in to your past career?

c) What are your plans for a career in nursing?

i need help with grammer, sentence structure, organization, spelling, and anything else that this essay needs to made me stand out when the admission members review my application. i need any comments to help me make this personal statement a great one.

From my earliest memories, I have always wanted to pursue a career in healthcare. My bachelors in Health science community health, was a great accomplishment in my life. This passion I have for nursing is a direct consequence of an even that occurred last year in my life when my cousin was diagnosed with cancer. My cousin also had venous thromboembolism, which required her to administer subcutaneous injection of Lovenox at the same time every day. I never had training in giving a shot. One day it happened to be just me and her at home and it was time for her injection. Other family members were not going to be home until later that day and by then it would be too late. I didn’t want her to get late for her injections, so I decided to give her the injection. I washed and dried my hands. I took one prefilled syringe of lovenox with an alcohol swab. I started looking for a site in the abdomen area, far from the belly button. I cleaned the site with alcohol and let it dry, then removed the cap and injected her with the right amount of Lovenox subcutaneously without any fear and panic. My cousin was surprised on how well I administered the shot that she didn’t feel any pain. She convinced me that I would be a great nurse.. From that day on, I realized that I very confident and not scared at all. I felt that this was the most challenging task and I felt rewarded. My cousin is not living today to see me become a nurse but I am sure if she was still alive, she would have been so happy that I took the path for becoming a nurse.

Shortly after my cousin’s death, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Going to the doctor almost every week and seeing all these nurses provide the best highest quality of care that my dad needed made me realize that nursing is the career I want to pursue. The occurrence of these incidents and other traumatic times in my life have shaped the person I am today and my career goals. These incidents have made me emotionally stable and mentally strong individual.

My experiences in life and my love and passion for healthcare have influenced me to follow this path by majoring in Global and Community health and hopefully achieving a second degree in nursing.

As pharmacy tech, I know about medications, brand and generic names, their use and how they are taken. I know how to read doctors’ notes and how to instruct patients on how to take medications. I have extraordinary communication skills that helps me interact with patients, doctors, nurses and pharmacists. Pharmacy tech job has helped to be very familiar with HIPPA guidelines. I know how important it is to maintain confidentiality of patient information in accordance with state and federal law. This job has enabled me to identify, respect and care about the patients’ differences, values and preferences and expressed needs.

My internship for the WIC program has also helped me to develop great interpersonal skills to communicate with and understand others. Interning at the WIC program was a great experience. I learned to assessclients’ nutritional status, developing care plan and goals, and referring them to other community agencies for other services. This internship gave me the opportunity to be around children and pregnant women and this helped me to realize thaytyounger kids do not always listen to everything you say, or it might take them longer to complete a game or task than an older person, therefore being patient is very important when dealing with younger and elder adults. I know that patients will have all different levels of ability, or movement and I will need the patience to stick with it and help them through. I think of myself as very personable, I am a very easy person to talk to and love to listen to others and try to help them. I am the type of person whose friends go to them first for advice on a decision or just for someone to listen to them and help them through a hard time. I think this is very beneficial skill for nursing, because communication skills are one of the main requirements towards helping someone. You do not only need to be able to share your knowledge but also to be able to listen and also pick up non-verbal communications as well. To be nursing is not just a scientific career or just a nurturing career. It is not complete without the other. The two need to be jointed to have a harmonious and successful outcome and nursing is the career that utilizes all of these qualities.

While I was at school completing my bachelors in health science, community health, I have taken alot of class related to patients care, infectious diseases, ethics, weight management, health communication, nutrition, the delivery of healthcare, patient-provider relationship, Medicine and Health values, which are very well related delivery of healthcare and also very important to nurses.

I want to provide quality care through building a trusting relationship. This challenge will give personal meaning and fulfillment to my life each day My goal is to connect with patients on a level that can promote them to take interest in taking their personal health into their own hands. I feel that I can make an impact in encouraging patients to take control of their health before progressing into the more acute problems.

Knowing that people are being helped and lives are betting brings comfort and satisfaction to my world. It makes me stronger and allows me to contribute as much as I can to make the world a better place. I take great pride in being able to balance various areas of my life even under stressful circumstances. Therefore, I feel very comfortable taking on the challenge of nursing school. I have always tried to put schoolwork first, my education is very important to me.

I see myself helping a patient, making a difference in someone’s life. I have always felt the need to help others, whether it is giving a shoulder to cry on for a friend, or volunteering my time to help others who are less fortunate than myself. I feel that this fits in very well to the field of nursing. Nurses are not only there to carry out tasks medically, but they are there for comfort and understanding of the patients. I always try to keep a smile on my face and a positive attitude, no matter how my day is going. I feel like a smile is worth so much more, a simple smile can make someone’s entire day. It can help somebody make it through a difficult situation.

After getting my second degree in nursing, I would utilize knowledge and skills to deliver, support and promote health in diverse individuals, families and communities in a multicultural world. I have a growing sense of compassion and engagement with the issue and my innate desire is to help others achieve a healthy lifestyle. I am a student who works hard and strives for the utmost to achieve what I have to in order to help those who are in need. It would be an honor to become a part of the _____-experience. It would be an honor to interact with faculty representing some of the most talented professionals in the area. This program of nursing will lead to a bigger and brighter future and I am hopeful that the members of the Admissions Committee will recognize my enthusiasm for this program.

[itsmejuli]

Its way too long and too detailed. Tighten it up, keep it to one page, watch your sentence and paragraph structure and try to minimize the use of the word "I".