Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?

  1. Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical
    Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on
    final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"

    In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass
    Transfer " exam paper contained the question:

    "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with
    proof."

    Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
    Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have
    some mass.
    If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So,
    at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls
    leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave.
    Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different
    religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
    change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio
    of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

    [Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than
    the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    [Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster
    than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by
    Teresa Banyan during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
    with you", and taking into account that I still have not
    succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct; ...... thus, Hell is exothermic.

    The student got the only A.
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   kewlnurse
    I live in hell, and it's freaking cold!
  4. by   goinnuts
    Hel is endothermic, it is med-surg!!!

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