goinnuts

Hang in there and try to take things one step at a time. I did not self report, was reported by employer and am in the same boat either way now. My experience with a friend though is that she did self report and it didn't really change anything. She still ended up being persecuted by the board even though it turns out it was charting errors rather than diverting. Self reporting didn't help her, because the board only waited to hear from the employer before taking any action on her case. I suggest you continue to communicate with your employer, it is a long shot, but sometimes they don't report. Talking to someone through your local union (they will help you even if you are not a member) can be a lot of help as well. They will know how your state handles these things better than anyone, and then you have an advocate from the start. If you are ready, NOW is the time to get help though. Look into treatment centers in your area, this can go a long way with the board if you have already gotten into treatment, at the very least, find some resources. NA, SMART, and Lifering (online) are good positive places to find some support and start getting yourself on a different path. I know this feels like the end of the world right now (been there), but you are not alone, and you can get back to where you want to be. I am grateful you were caught before it was too late-this CAN be the best thing that ever happened to you. My heart goes out to you-you are not alone.

I am so appalled at how we 'eat our young' in so many ways-the nurse who treated you so indifferently will push me even harder to get through this, I never treated people with disregard, and I need to get back there to be one of the good guys! Thank you for your words of encouragement, I will read these messages often and be reminded that staying clean should be my first goal, and nursing my second. The other way around was part of what got me in trouble in the first place. Thanks for your positive words!

Thank you for the support! I knew this was the place to find the help I need to get through this! Your words of encouragement give me so much strength.

Thank you so much for your response. Just knowing there is hope is HUGE! That simple act of your listening and replying to me left me sitting at my computer sobbing (with relief)-and gives me strength and purpose to continue to stay sober for something that is more important than just 'existing'. I am involved with recovery ring (a non-religion based program) that helps alot, have gone to NA, and want to stay clean! Taking it day to day helps with a direction, I guess starting with finding employment is my biggest right now, but that is proving difficult until I can afford an attorney to clear me for background checks. But it is something to put on the top of the list for today. Oh boy do I know why you waited 10 years! This process is daunting to say the least, but it certainly gives me something to fight for, and any good ER nurse sure knows how to fight for something! Support and encouragement from peers goes a long way in giving up the shame and worthlessness. I will work on it-Thank you again!

Thanks to any of you who listen to my story and may have some insight for me. I am looking for information about where to start or if it is even possible to ever get my license back. I was an ER/ICU nurse for 6 years-had an outstanding career, then tossed it all over my addiction. I tried to stop myself, got out of critical care for a year, but inevitably was fired from my last job for narcotics theft from the clinic I was working in. I knew I had a problem, but didn't seek help until it was forced upon me. I was charged with theft & tampering with drug records, and was given a drug court diversion that sent me into outpatient treatment for 6 months. During that time, my license was revoked and I was too (and still am) humiliated, embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior to try to fight to keep my license. I couldn't afford to travel to the board for an official investigation, and really didn't feel that I had much I could say to defend myself-I screwed up and didn't feel that I could ever meet their demands or stand the inquiry into my mind at the time, so I just gave up and let them revoke. So now, I have been clean for 9 months, am 35 days shy of having the original felony charges of tampering with drug records dismissed, finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, trying to learn to redefine myself and have no idea where to begin! I originally told myself I was just done, that I had to forget about nursing, forget about using that degree, and find a new direction-but here I sit, almost a year later, barely surviving financially, student loans up the wazoo, a bachelors degree not worth the paper it is written on, and not a clue as to what to do next! I considered going back to school, but now am finding that this revocation will follow me what ever direction I go-any license I apply for will reveal that my nursing license was revoked, and at some point I am going to have to explain myself. I can have my record expunged as soon as I can afford it, so that will at least keep the tampering and theft off a background check, but what about the rest? If I am going to have to jump through the same hoops no matter what I do, why not try to go back to what I love and am best at? But is it realistic? How long should I wait to approach the board? Is there a time frame for being clean, or since revocation that I should wait? Do I contact them myself, or wait until I can afford a lawyer to help me? Is it a bad idea to go back to where this nightmare began? Is the board going to laugh me right out of their office? Is it possible to screw up this badly, and ever find myself practicing nursing again? Can I ever get back into an ER or ICU? Who are my advocates for this process? I have seen the board really terrorize innocent nurses, what can I expect when they all know I am guilty? Thank you for listening, it seems that only a nurse can really understand my perspective. I hope and pray there is someone out there who can tell me there is hope, tell me that they have been down this road and been able to recover and that I may have some hope of being a nurse again.