I need help!!!!

  1. Okay everyone, this is my first time posting a new thread. I have replied many times but never had an occasion to post a new thread till now. Here is the situation and I would love anyones input!!
    I am in a BSN student who is also the president of our "small close knit group of 13 students". We have spent three years together and everyone is like family.
    We started our spring semester with a new student. She is mid 30's but is very immature. It has only been 3 weeks and she has alienated everyone. She interupts anyone including the profs and is one of those people that just likes to hear herself talk. I would not mind her speaking up if she had anything pertinent to offer in a conversation but she usually just wants to change the subject. She told me after the first week that she felt like a fifth wheel and I advised her to chill out and let the others get to know her it would probably take a while since we were so tight but they would come around.
    Well they haven't and I haven't becuase she won't keep her mouth shut. I spoke with my prof and advisor and she totally understood and said she could tell that this new student was kind of out of line. Being a very spiritual person I am always kind to people but I am losing my patience quick with this student. Any ideas on how I could confront her so the rest of the semester will go kind of smooth?
    By the way she is with us this semester, in the fall back with the juniors and then next spring back with us. She will not graduate until december of 2003 (alone).
    Looking forward to any help
    •  
  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   colleen10
    Hi Marie,

    I say nip this thing in the bud now. Before you and your classmates loose patience and end up blowing up at her. That will alienate her even more and you'll all probably feel guilty for loosing your tempers. Plus, it will be akward when you see her again in a few semesters.

    You allready know that she feels out of place. I would go to her one on one and be as nice and open as possible with her. Explain that you don't feel she's adjusting to the program well and ask her how she feels about that. Try to validate her concerns by reiterating them to her and showing her that you "understand" why she feels the way she does. Try to put yourself in her shoes. I would then, gently as possible, explain to her the way that she is perceived by the group. She may not notice the way she is behaving and it may not be a true indication of her personality. I know that sometimes when I meet new people or am very nervous my personality is a quiet and stand offish. That's not how I really am at all but I guess it's some type of defense mechanism that I put up. When I notice that I behave that way I make a conscious effort not to.

    She may be trying to interject in all the conversations just so that people in class will notice her and strike up a conversation with her. She may not really realize that she isn't adding anything valuable.

    Or, she could just be a goober.

    You owe it to her and yourself, being the nice spiritual person that you are, to give it another shot. If things don't shape up and she really is a goober, at least you know that you tried. At that point I would probably just try to ignore her and maybe eventually she'll get the hint. There's always that one student in class that brings up un-related points and asks far out questions. It is usually followed by a collective "sigh" by the rest of the class.

    Good luck and you should be proud for putting yourself into such a an akward position just to make someone else feel better.

  4. by   marieoct62
    Colleen, Thanks for the input. It sounds like a good idea. Our classes were cancelled today due to the ice. I agree I will have to confront her in a non threatening manner and I hope I find the right words so I won't hurt her. Again thanks for the input
    Marie
  5. by   delirium
    We have somebody just like that in our nursing program. She totally tries my patience. I pride myself on being civil to everyone, even if they aren't my best friends, but she really pushes my buttons. She is nowhere to be found in clinical, she can't do anything independently, she's always asking *me* for help, and when we discuss what we want to do after graduation, her responses always mimic mine. It is so not flattering. Its just irksome. She has no personality.
    Oh, and did I mention she cries at every clinical conference because she feels "inadequate"? And her academic grades are so good and she just can't get it in clinical?
    Ok I know I sound really heartless but....get over it. If you have a problem adjusting to clinical, talk to your instructor, get your feet wet, get the freak away from the nurses station and the patient's chart and go see your patient. We have actually found this woman hiding in the stairwell. She is straight up dangerous in clinical. She had a patient in the nursing home who fell out of bed and was *lying on the floor* for God knows how long. She once had a patient that desatted to 65% while she was hanging out leafing through the chart at the nurses station. What happened? I found our instructor, I talked to the primary nurse. I am not so heartless that I would let a patient actually be endangered because of her behavior but I don't go out of my way to help her, either.
    How she has muddled through thus far, I have no idea. I can't believe she had a satisfactory evaluation. She is just someone who brings down the whole group.
    We got split into different rotations this semester. Guess who is with me? Yep, Ms Codependent herself. I've given up trying to be nice to her, I just try not to bother with her.
    I know this is probably a little different than your situation but sometimes these people are just energy vampires. I do my best to perform well in clinical, help those that genuinely need it and may actually be able to do something independently, and not concern myself with her. We've even gone to the instructors and discussed our concerns and they just blow us off, saying it's only the first portion of the program and she has no experience, so its going to take her longer.
    What????
    Anyway, I know this post made me sound like a big old bytch, but that's my .02. Create a positive experience for yourself out of nursing school, and if this person doesn't fit into it, you can't make her behave the way you'd like her to. Spend less energy on her and more energy on yourself and your peers.
  6. by   marieoct62
    Rebecca, I would of lost my patience long ago with that student!!

    Here is the latest update with this student, you will never beleive this!
    We do clinical rotations on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for 12 weeks. The other 3 days are in the classroom.

    Our clinicals are split up into 3 weeks Pediatrics, 3 weeks OB and the other six weeks Tuesdays are different observations and Wednesdays are women's health care.

    The Tuesday observations change each week. NICU, Family Practice, Midwifery, Mammogram center, community home nursing.

    Last Tuesday this student along with another student went to the midwife clinic. She arrived late and the midwife was meeting with a pregnant mom and the dad.

    The problem student turned to the other student and started asking her if she watched TV the night before. She said no and tried to ignore her by concentrating on the conversation of the midwife. Problem student still continued to talk and said she watched Labor and Delivery on TLC the night before and was crying becuase The woman delivered C-Section 2 STILLBORN Babies!!!!! PLEASE WHERE IS YOUR HEAD AT!!! The second student came to me ( I am the fix everything type) and confided that scene to me and wondered what she should do. I told her she needed to immediately talk with our Clinical instuctor and let her know what happened. She followed my advise and Today the problem student has been called into Profs office for a discipline hearing. I may not need to confront student now that she has had a talking to from the Prof. But if she is that thick in the head I cannot see her making much further in our program.
  7. by   delirium
    That is totally ridiculous. I'd say I can't believe it, but I can. Our problem student has done similar things.
    Hopefully she'll shape up or ship out, as the saying goes.
  8. by   colleen10
    Marie,

    Forget what I said earlier. It seems this girl is just whacked! I am not a violent person but I don't think I would have been able to keep myself from smacking her upside the head!

    I can only imagine the embarrasement of the other student she was with when she was discussing the TLC episode and the still births. I'm one of those people who doesn't react well to embarrasing situations like that. I can only imagine the look on my face if she was standing next to me!

    I'd like to know what type of discipline they give her, if you know and don't mind sharing. Is it like a 3 strikes and your out system or is she on some type of probation?

    That poor midwife and parents.

    They can teach you a lot in nursing school but I don't think they teach general intelligence.

close