This may be a little long but I'll try to just get what I need to say out. This last week's clinical was really hard/stressful/draining. I know clinicals are supposed to be challenging but something is not right here. I feel lifeless after clinicals. After Thursday (my first clinical day), I felt like a failure, and I had to come home and work on a care plan that I knew would suck. I stayed up all night and then went to an all day clinical the next day.
My patient was a pitiful, COPDer, 300+ lbs (female) and not friendly. She had diabetes so I checked her glucose and gave her insulin with an instructor's supervision. I gave meds which was sorta traumatic just because of how MANY pills she took. There's a million things I want to ask my teacher about my patient but she has 10 students to look after on two different floors.
She had a small BP cuff so I got a larger one and had a hell of a time getting it on, because it was like as big as her whole humerus. I took respirations but she breaths REALLY funny and counted 10 when the other CNAs had been counting 20. I mean I couldn't even do a simple think like count respirations. She would breathe in, and then breathe out, breathe in and then her adbomen would collapse. Anyone know if there is a name for this kind of respiration? Alternating breaths happened so that's why I only counted 10 at first. I still don't feel really confident that it was 20 times per minute but my teacher didn't think that a COPDer would have a low RR of 10. I thought since she has sleep apnea, that that might make it low. Of course what do I know? I do well in theory but I realize how much I don't know and how bad I do in clinical.
During the weekend I should unwind right? I can't. I just become a zombie so upset with clinicals and feeling useless. I don't know what to do. I really want to be a nurse, and I think if I could just finish school, I could get into a sector of the profession where I could use my compassion and skills (if I have have any by then.) OK I have some skills and I have learned a lot. But hello I should be able to take a simple respiration. Of course I wanted to validate it with my instructor but she was no where to be found.
What doesn't help is my parents get mad at me if I show that I felt bad about clinical. They also make comments like I should go work at McDonald's. It just makes it worse (((.
I'm sorry this is kind of a depressing message. But I have to get this out or I'll explode.
She would breathe in, and then breathe out, breathe in and then her adbomen would collapse. Anyone know if there is a name for this kind of respiration? Alternating breaths happened so that's why I only counted 10 at first. I still don't feel really confident that it was 20 times per minute but my teacher didn't think that a COPDer would have a low RR of 10. I thought since she has sleep apnea, that that might make it low. Of course what do I know? I do well in theory but I realize how much I don't know and how bad I do in clinical.