Being "Mom" and "Student"...

[reese19]

Hi,

I am 29 years old, a mother of two young boys (ages 3 and 1), and I am starting nursing school in January 2007. I have a BA in journalism, but jobs are too hard to find in this field, and when I do find one, they pay terribly and I find them very unfulfilling. I have worn several hats in this field over the past 8 years, and none seemed to fit me nor fulfill me.

My sisters and several of my inlaws are nurses, and they all love it. So, after much thought and prayer, I have decided to go back to school.

The thing is, I have been a stay-at-home mom for a year and a half now. However, finances have been super tight, and we realize that it is important for us to have a second income in the future.

Even though I am truly excited about starting nursing school and beginning this chaper in my life, there is a part of me that is nervous about how this will affect me as a mother.

I realize that I will not have as much time with my boys. I think the main thing I am nervous about is the "guilt" associated with that. My husband says to think of it in terms of 'I am doing this FOR my boys' -- meaning that, I will be able to provide more for them in terms of money for college funds and other things in life ... this will "enhance" their lives, not "take away" from it.

I know of mothers who made it through nursing school and on to successfuly careers. I know it must have been hard on them in many ways, however. I was wondering if any of you have young children, or even older children, and how it affects you as a nursing student ... and also how you cope with juggling both motherhood and student?

I guess I just need some encouragement in this area. I love my little boys so much and I do love staying home with them ... It's just that, I also know that the time will come when they are not at home anymore ... when they are in school ... and I will need something else fulfilling ... I even think about when they go to college -- If I did not pursue my dreams of becoming a nurse NOW -- maybe I would regret it later when my sons are off at college and I wished I had done something to better myself and provide a significant income. You know?

And, there is also a part of me as an individual that wants to help others and make a difference in their lives. I have not really felt that in my time as a journalist -- I always felt like I had more to give. I rarely went home at the end of the day thinking, 'I really felt like I touched people's lives today and showed them the love of God.' I have just always felt like, surely there is something else out there for me.

Any words of wisdom, advice, encouragement, etc., is welcome. I am glad to have found this site.

Thanks,

Alli

[firstyearstudent]

I am older than you, but in a similar situation. I used to work as a trade journallist/editor/tech. writer/etc. (BA in philosophy). It is a very competitive industry. When I moved from New York and became a stay at home mom, I found it almost impossible to get work when my husband lost his job. I am starting my second year of nursiing school and I have a three year old and a six year old. It was very hard for me to put my (then) 18 month old in daycare, but I it and, ultimately, have not felt all that guilty. The truth is, I really didn't enjoy being a stay at home mom. I found it stressful, tedious, isolating and not intellectually challenging. I think children are better off with their moms, at least during the first three years of their lives, so to say you are doing it "for them" is something of a rationalization. However, both my sons have been fine, and I'm happier and less depressed, so I think it was ultimately a good decision for the whole family. I guess I am saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing it "for you."

[mrscurtwkids4]

I'm 34 yrs old and mother of 4 daughters ages 13, 11, 10, and 7. I've been going to college for 4 yrs now. And one more year left to go. Starting my senior year, FINALLY!! It can be done. Granted, we may not have as much time for the kids as when we have stayed at home, however, they will end up gaining something great from it: a more confident, healthy, happy mom who will end up doing what she has been wanting to do for some time! Not to mention the benefits of extra income in the household. And I believe that I've given my daughters something to look up to. Now my 13 yr old gets high honor roll every marking period and says she intends on wanting to become a doctor. And you know, I believe she'll do it too! She's as stubborn and dedicated as her mommy :)

[sheilarn2b]

I am 48 years old and have spent the last two years completing pre-reqs. My children are grown (22 and almost 24 -- the eldest just finished his bachelors degree and preparing for med school, the younger still in college pursuing her teaching degree) They are still living at home for the time being -- the oldest preparing to leave soon. Even when they are this age you feel somewhat guilty about not being around or being engrossed in a book to prepare for class, etc. If you are going to do it -- do it now! Believe me -- it is sooooo much easier to learn when you are younger. I have to read things over and over to get the information to "stay." Never had the retention problems that I have now when I was younger. You'll do fine and the kids will never remember when it's all said and done that they didn't get all the attention that you're fretting over now. Good luck -- keep us posted!

[Petite06]

Reese...you have the same legitimate feelings I think that we all do. I have a 17 month old. I took time away from school when I was in the last trimester of pregnancy and then shortly after had to leave to a diff city since husband was accepted to med school. I went last semester but didn't have traditional hospital clinicals and so it was tough but I made it. I had only secured one day of childcare a week and the rest of the time I was a SAHM and only could study at night. The first few weeks, I could barely keep myself awake at night to study...I was EXHAUSTED. However in time, I made it.

Now I'm going into last semester and I have arranged childcare M-F for a set number of hours. I am going to keep a rigid schedule so that I can fulfill my duties as mother, wife, nursing student and leader (I manage a small group r/t my husband's school). I want to be able to exercise and so that will be planned in too.

The point...? Schedule your needs. When not in class, know what you are supposed to be studying. I'm going to give myself about 10 mins a day to do one cleaning task. I've bought things to help make my job easier like baby wipes in a container with scented cleaner poured in so I can keep the bathrooms wiped down...etc. You have to get creative. I'll have 30 mins m-f to exercise each day, 30 mins to cook meals and I'll be cooking in advance. When you are with your kids, dedicate your addition to them. It's the quality not the quantity.

Good luck.

P.S. Apply for financial aid, grants, loans. Sometimes local hospitals have them for students or private education loans. If your income is low enough from going to school again, look into medicaid for the kids and assistance. Assistance can come in many forms like food, health care, and even housing. Plus, the schools can usually refer you to a special grant that is reserved for mothers such as yourself. Ask your nursing office for info. They might be able to help with childcare.

Thanks

[Angel 3]

Hi Reese, I'm a single mother of my 2 year old son. I also have a Bachelor's degree in another field, but like you said, it wasn't fulfulling to me at all. My passion has always been to become a nurse. I felt VERY guilty at first about going back to school because of the time lost with my son. But then I looked at the pros & cons of me going back to school. I wasn't happy with my job...so that made me unhappy when I got home from work to spend time with my son. I couldn't enjoy him as much from all the stress of the day from the job. Now, I am finishing up my last semester of pre-reqs before applying to nursing school & I couldn't be happier. What I try to do is spend as much time with my son when he gets home from daycare, and then study when he goes to bed. I also have free time between a couple of classes, so I just stay at the school & study there. I feel like I spend more valuable time with my son now because I'm happier & I know that this will all pay off down the road. Believe me, if this is truely what you want to do, you will be extremely happy with whatever decision you make. Most importantly......IT CAN BE DONE. Good luck and best wishes in whatever you do!!!:balloons:

[bandas]

My kids are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 yrs. One of the things that helps me out is that my kids are extremely late sleepers. They sleep until at least noon every day. So I look at it as I have most of my day done with before they even get up. I know that I will have homework, but I will actually be home with them more now that I am in school. Oh yeah, and my husband is with them when I am not, so we don't have to rely on daycare. That saves some bucks.

I am actually looking forward to school beginning!:monkeydance: Although I might not think that when I have a big assignment due and my kids are driving me crazy with, "lets play barbies" or "sissy pinched me"