You Can't Be a Nurse Without Love - page 3
Sometimes the simplest moments contain the most profound lessons. I pride myself on the fact that I'm smart. Oh and let me tell you, I'm not just smart because I retain information well (which I... Read More
Nov 3, '11I appreciated the story, OP. Despite being long, it kept my interest (most of that length don't). I do get where you were going with it. But I personally don't feel that love is the "foundation" of nursing. I suppose I could say that I have a love for the profession overall, because I enjoy being able to help others and feel like I'm making a difference in some way. But when I'm caring for my patients, I never equate it with love.
Nov 3, '11I also think (if anyone cares at this point- LOL ) that everyone seeks love. That's not an issue. And nursing is equated with something relatively "people serving" (though with the 'business' end of medicine, I should hope this is fading for a somewhat more realistic view of providing a service).
While I can't stand the customer service models, I can't ignore them (though I do my best to annoy Press-Ganey when I respond to their surveys with "PG is undermining the goals of nursing to be to maximize patient health and outcomes, by diminishing it to a concierge industry"). And it's all about getting the patient as well as they can get, not making their lives worse, and getting them either out the door (hospital) or helping them live as best they can (LTC/hospice/HH). Nothing in there about emotional connection to the individual- imo- the only obligation is to provide the best care, and not be a total beeyotch. If someone came into my room with some "let me love you" mentality/comment, I'd be telling PG a LOT about that individual, to be sure
Nov 3, '11you should save your post... and read it to yourself years later. sometimes it is easy to forget why we became nurses in the first place. as a nurse we encounter so much... from patients... their family.. their doctors... our family with not understanding our work schedule and how overtime is needed in this economy, etc. I'm still new at nursing but every once in a while i have to remind myself why i decided to be a nurse. and not a business major, or a pharmacist, or dentist, etc. In nursing, not only do we have to use our brain, and skills, but we have to be compassionate and have empathy and never ending patience.
I still battle with myself daily. yesterday i was convinced i want to go back for pharmacy, but today... i love being a nurse... tomorrow? well, i guess it depends on my stress level. lol
Nov 3, '11Gosh, so many points of view on nursing and love! I’ve always looked at love as a verb, an action word, b/c to me love is something that is is shown or demonstrated. We might not all love our patients like Mully does.. but I am glad there are nurses out there who love, like Mully
Nov 4, '11Quote from CindyrellaNurses who see "love" as a noun also have things in their life that they love (verb).....and they can be incredibly compassionate nurses; please don't look at only one example of love as "the" be-all-end-all way of showing it. You're cheating yourself to keep it limitedGosh, so many points of view on nursing and love! I've always looked at love as a verb, an action word, b/c to me love is something that is is shown or demonstrated. We might not all love our patients like Mully does.. but I am glad there are nurses out there who love, like Mully
I "loved" doing a good job (which included being compassionate, because I think people are worth that type of attention- and I got something back from it- a paycheck, and the awareness that I was of help).
A parent who disciplines their child is showing one of the most difficult forms of love there is- and yet it's not all warm and fuzzy. Putting a pet to sleep is a selfless form of love that hurts like the loss of a dear, dear family member (selfless being a key issue in "love" and a reason for not seeing patients as a 'target' of love- they are a vital component of the job- and it's not selfless unless it's a volunteer job, a mission trip, etc- where there is no compensation aside from the desire to do a good job, and keep being employed ). To not discipline because it's "too hard" or unpleasant robs the kid in the long run (but helps the parent avoid anything negative). To permit a pet to suffer because of the inability to let go is selfish (imo- for those who can take it- whatever). Love isn't confined to something that is a superficial demonstration.
Having a doctor do his job can be a form of compassion- and people "love" to see that But it's not "it". Love (in the dictionary) is a noun. People "fall" in "love"..... the 'fall' is the verb- the "love" is the destination (so to speak)... It's a lot more complex than something that is a definite 'feel good' thing.
That's why I said "define" love... unless you know what you mean by love, you don't know it when you see it- and it's not always the pleasant picture that is desired; sometimes it hurts- but to ignore any component of it gives an incomplete picture, and won't allow you to see "all" that is love And it changes from situation to situation.
Nov 4, '11xtxrn - you make a excellent point. Like I previously said, love has many forms, which I think we agree on. I'm sorry if my previous post implied that I view love as one dimensional. We all see love differently and express it differently. Some share it with everyone and some keep love reserved for those special few people. While I may not love all my patients, I do believe that compassion comes from a place of love. Not "love" in the "I LOVE YOU, MARRY ME" way lol, but in the basic love for another fellow human being. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" kind of love. OP - I really liked how you said that "love is the foundation of the job." I hope your optimistic view of nursing never dies. GN
Nov 4, '11There may come a time when we'll all have 'well-input-ted' robot doctors and nurses who will perform flawlessly and without sarcasm...Just don't expect them to hold your hand.
Nov 4, '11The doc/surgeon loved his job, too, though his perception of what was going on outside of himself was a bit cloudy. He loved being able to step in and discern what was required; he loved being able to perform the procedure competently;
He loved displaying his vast knowledge ( though his 'teaching' may have been more appropriate to medical students); he probably loved the sound of his voice carrying forth with such command! He loved (loves) being a doctor!....Also loves learning, also loves being able to translate that learning to action...successful action.
Most doctors, and especially surgeons, live life on a whole 'nother plane from nurses and from patients. But love could be said to be the foundation of their practice, as well.
Nov 4, '11Mully had an Aha! moment, loved your well written story.
He is not alone--there is a whole center in the Boston area devoted to
keeping health care professionals compassionate care givers....
Take a a look at Dr. Schwartz's story, and how the organization was founded..
Call it whatever you want, but I want a healthcare professional with caring for me!
Best wishes in your nursing journey Mully!
Nov 4, '11OP, as a student, without direct responsibility for the patient, you were afforded this opportunity to just observe and you appear to have taken full advantage of that opportunity.
But don't discount the contribution of the MD and the rest of the team - whose skill and appropriate action appear to have produced the human moment you had the privilege to observe.