Why Do Nurses Eat Their Young?

More and more Nurses are getting involved and looking for solutions that will end the scourge that has persisted for so many years and tarnished the good work and dedication of all Nurses everywhere. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Have you heard that phrase before? I graduated my Nursing Program way, way, back in 1955 and it was around even then. The perpetrator is usually a senior nurse with longevity but could be a new graduate bursting with new knowledge and techniques and anxious to give them a workout or it could be a Supervisor or someone with a higher or lower rank than the victim. Regardless who is creating the problem it is interesting that old cliche is still around in this the 21st Century.

I first encountered it when as an eighteen-year-old nursing student who had never been in a hospital had no idea what a hospital ward looked like. I was born at home, and my tonsils were removed on my Grandmother's kitchen table when I was five. That was way, way, way, back, in 1935. So imagine my surprise to learn the "Ward" my Mother talked about when she had my brothers and sister, was not a long hallway with beds on either side, as I had envisioned, but a long hallway with rooms on both sides and it even had a kitchen. Yes, I remember it well.

We spent the first three months of our training in the classroom learning the basics of bedside nursing-bed making, vital signs, bed baths, enemas, along with medical terminology, anatomy, and other basic preparations for our initiation to "The Ward". We never got further than the lobby of the Hospital and the Cafeteria until the end of those first three months. Finally, the day came with the notification our schedules were changed. Starting immediately, we would spend four hours in the classroom every morning and four hours on the Ward in the afternoon. After class, we reported to our assigned Ward and introduced ourselves to our R.N., Supervisor.

Miss G. was about four feet, ten inches, tall and weighed about ninety-eight pounds. She looked impressive in her starched, white uniform, white stockings, white, polished, shoes with clean, white, shoelaces, and perched on top of her head a starched, white, crinoline cap with a ruffled edge, with a black band around it. She wore her accessories with authority. Her school pin perfectly placed on her right chest, her nurses' watch with its black, leather band and her black, winged, glasses, which she wore at the end of her nose so she could look directly into your eyes when she spoke. She was a retired Army, Staff Sergeant, probably in her middle thirties, and Single. Yes, I remember her well.

It was the first day of my first four- hour shift. Everyone gathered in the kitchen while the R.N. Supervisor dished out the diets on to a tray, from a warming cart, which we took to the bedside. I was assigned to feed a very ill young man, hooked up to an I.V. and too ill to feed himself. My patient had a bowl of Pea Soup, a glass of water, a cup of hot tea, a packet of sugar, and a glass straw. This was my first patient and the first time I would feed someone. I was scared to death.

I rolled his bed up, placed a napkin on his chest, told him my name, what I was about to do and asked him if he was comfortable. He nodded his head. I placed the glass straw into the bowl of pea soup and brought it to his lips. He was too weak to draw the soup up through the straw so I told him I would get a spoon and I would be right back.

Once in the hallway, I forgot which way to the kitchen. I started back toward the Nurse's Station and ran into Miss G. "Where do you think you're going?" she said. "I'm looking for the kitchen," I said. "You mean to tell me you've been here an hour and a half and you don't know where the kitchen is?" I looked at her with total surprise. "Yes.", I replied. She gave me directions and I was on my way.

There were lots of cupboards and drawers in the kitchen and I had no idea where they hid the tableware. I started opening drawers when I heard a sound behind me. Miss G. was standing in the doorway watching me. "Can you tell me where they keep the spoons?" I asked. "Don't they teach you anything in that classroom? You were just in this kitchen. You don't remember where the spoons are. What kind of nurse do you think you will be if you can't remember from fifteen minutes ago?" That was my intro to Miss G. and it was just the beginning. I finally got back to my patient but by that time, the soup was cold. I went back to the kitchen to get some warm soup. I'll give you three guesses who was there and what happened next. The first two don't count.

That was fifty-four years ago. Do nurses still eat their young? Yes, they do and there is plenty of evidence to support its existence right here on the internet. Just go to any Nurse Blog or Forum and you will find page after page of comments from nurses, young and old, male and female, R.N.'s, L.P.N.'s, C.N.A's, all venting their frustrations about the treatment they endure from NURSES WHO EAT THEIR YOUNG. Why do they do it? They do it because they can.

Fortunately, there is hope for the future. Due to Nursing Forums like this one, more and more Nurses are getting involved and looking for solutions that will end the scourge that has persisted for so many years and tarnished the good work and dedication of Nurses everywhere. Now if only someone would start teaching "How to build a team" or "Teamwork is the answer" that would be a place to start.

Specializes in Geriatrics, Emergency, Cardiology.

Great article!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

/Sigh. Where do we learn this behavior?? I was raised by my Dad, with no strong female socialization example..and it has been suggested that many of our behaviors are learned by observation of our parents as children. So I don't "get it"when it comes to why we treat each other the way we do, ladies. haha. I was born with a very obvious physical deformity (facial paralysis)..though my IQ has been tested to range in the 98th percentile. But anyway. I learned at an early age, that I was never going to be the winner in social games, so sadly I chose not to bother to play, which as a result I am not as skilled as I should be socially.

I have been working in healthcare for 9 years, a nurse for about 2. So their are very few tricks in the book from these hostile type nurses that I have not encountered or will get past me. But I swear these ones that are like that can "smell" any vulnerabilitys like sharks, and I am frequently a target. Now, it has become a kinda a fun past time for me to observe all the S#$% that people will try to pull over on you if they perceive you to be weak..and how it drives them crazy when it doesn't work. :)

Newbies: Hang in there. You will soon learn the skills to fend for yourself. Know what your strengths are as a nurse, and Don't let anyone convince you that your points aren't valid, your aren't cut out as a nurse, ect.

Really I feel sorry for those types that bully...it has been my experience that their is no rhyme or reason to it..(half the time that I have been bullied it was by someone that I pose no professional threat to whatsoever.) But their has got to be something really lacking in their own lives/emotional state if the only way they can feel good about themselves is to put you down. ...its just sad. I don't think it would bother me at all if not for the fact that this is a terrible detriment to providing good patient care, so most of the time I will make every effort to get along with everyone.

But truly what got me through, especially early on, was finding those one or two persons that I could trust and that were encouraging to me even when I was ready to quit!

Now I try to be that person to other new nurses/employees when I can and I hope I have helped someone!.

Wouldn't it be an interesting dialogue to start a thread from the POV of the nurses that are the one who are Bullies? I would just love some incite as to what sets these people off and motives involved...though it is probably mostly irrational.

I believe that this culture has got to change..And it starts with each of us to create a new culture where we support and CARE for one another!

Specializes in Acute Care Hosp, Nursing Home, Clinics.

My first impulse is to say"God Bless You" and as I'm writing this I wonder if it is O.K.? Will you be offended? That is how far we have strayed in our Socalization skills. Political Correctness has colored our speech and stymied our ability to communicate in sincere, meaningful dialogue. It concernes me we have replaced a good, old fashioned word, "Bully" with "Lateral Violence". What the hell does that mean? And why is it better than "Bully"? Why do we make up words and phrases that comaflage and soften the real meaning of a perfectly good word like "Bully"? Are we more comfortable with "lateral violence" than the harsh reality of "Bully"? Whose idea was that anyway? Was it some highly educated advocate for "If it feels good" crowd of the 60's? Is "Bully" to harsh for our delicate sensibilities? Does "Bully" conjure up visuales of cruel, hateful behavior that makes us ugly in our own eyes? Does "lateral violence" give us a comfort zone where we can stand by and do nothing to stop it in its tracks. Does "Lateral Violence" give us license to tolerate Bullying with no fear of the consequence of reprisal or commdemnation? There are many reason why people Bully. And the answer is . . . . . . Because they can! It is still here in the 21st Century because it is tolerated. It is tolerated because there is no clear definition between bullying and constructive critisicizm. People are confused. They don't understand the difference between the teacher or supervisor who pushes you to be the best you can be and the person who delightes in making you squirm. I think we can all spot a Bully but not many of us can spot a really good Teacher or Leader. That is where we need to concentrate our efforts. We need to learn the difference and we don't need any new words or phrases to make it easy. A Bully is a Bully and should not be tolerated. A Teacher or Supervisor who helps us be the best we can be is a gift and should be appreciated. Once we really know the differece we will change the culture. This Forum can be a first step in a long road ahead. God Bless You for the work you do.

Specializes in Neonatal-Pedi, Hospice, Triage, Abstraction.

Well I thought it was a myth as I went 20 yrs in nursing and only met wonderful professional men and women. Until a year ago, a nurse supervisor was so manipulative and horrible I quit a job I loved to get away from her. It all turned out good though because I ended up finding a really cool job that is more flexible and easier commute. So if I ever ran into that psycho bully nurse supervisor again, I'd have to thank her for scaring me away! LOL

Specializes in none yet.

BUT if that someone is your orientor and you are totally new, it is unnerving to be told "I already told you where that is." Or something else catty or to be bawled out in front of other nurses because you didn't give report exactly right the first time you gave it. Using kindness is great when you already have confidence and experience and don't really, really need the job. I like your advice though because thanking someone for helping you is always good. And maybe that was their purpose,but they just didn't know how to do it well.

Specializes in none yet.

I don't know how to get the status quo changed. Hope we can. I quit nursing after 4 months and went back to my old career. My former employer was overjoyed to have me back. I had wanted to be a nurse since I was a little girl, gave it up in college because the hours weren't good for having children and there weren't so many women working outside the home with small children, so childcare was a problem. When i got old enough, I decided to try nursing again without having to worry about child care. I loved the patients and some of my fellow nurses, but I didn't have to continue nursing to support myself, so I quit and went back to where I felt welcomed and part of a team...teaching.

I would like to share my story. At the age of 44 decided to change my career from banking to nursing and graduated in 2012. I couldn't find new grad placement where I lived in Perth, Western Australia so managed to get placement the other side of the country in Eastern states. I completed my placement and have been working in a busy surgical ward for the last one and half year. However like your article states I have two Enrolled nurses who made sure I have miserable shift every time I worked with them. On regular basis both of them undermined me and belittled me with their sarcastic ways in front of patients and even collegues. Just recently, on one of the night shift I was made team leader because one of the senior staff RN did not show up. I knew I would have tough time that night, not with coping with team leading role rather with attitudes of those two nurses and the treatment I would receive from them. It so happened that few days ago we all had to bring dishes to share representing our ethnicity; so I brought an Ethiopian chicken curry for us to share however those EN's didnt come to share that day, as they only work night shifts, so they didn't know what I brought but one other staff RN who was there that day said to me in front of them (oblivious to what is happening among us) said that in passing "Oh by the way I loved your curry would you give me the recipe?" and one of the sharp tounged EN who I could tell was mad as hell that I was made team leader that night said to him (even though she knew he was talking to me) "what curry are you refering to? ..." she asked and he said "oh it was an Ethiopian chicken curry she brought and it was delicious" and she said very loudly while I am listening that "oh I didn't know they have chickens in Ethiopia?" and laughed. My blood was boiling but I knew what her intention were and for the first time I approached her as it was direct insult to me unlike other times I thought this is good opportunity to deal with her once and for all and I spoke to her looking directly into her eyes and managed to bring my voice in check and said to her " well ... now that you wanted to know if there are chickens in Ethiopia let me tell you this, frankly we don't eat chickens in Ethiopia you know why because we eat people like you for breakfast " and walked away feeling so great that for the first time not feeling inferior and carried on to concentrate with task in hand. Guess what, to my surprise she didn't retaliate and did not cause me any troubles that night even with other one was trying to instigate. Since then she is not as nasty as before. By the way, just for the records, people don't eat people in Ethiopia even when we had draughts in 80's but just used her language to put in her place and it took me a year to do that even though I am mature and have more life experiences just by migrating to a new country by my own with my then teenage child and made life for myself my son. Sorry it is long winded... I better stop to back to bed. I love your topic that is all I am saying. On positive note, I found a job in city where my son lives and joining him after 2 and half year. Thanks

I agree with your comment. it is so ridiculous, they forget that nursing is supposed to be about team work. This is not a competition where you have to throw each other under the bus. The only person who ends up losing is the hospital. Moral is low and patient care suffers!! If only there was a way to cut it from the start.

I went to nursing school after having worked in other environments with at least an equal distribution of males and I was amazed at how we women keep ourselves down. One of my fellow schoolmate made the same observation and voice it in class. His comment was respectfully accepted. I was stunned as none of the females would have voiced the obvious for fear of the repercussions. Perhaps the best thing that can happy to nursing is that way more males enter the field.