I came across some job descriptions on nursing job postings say things like
"provide quality care to patients and their families"
"Use the nursing process of assessment, diagnosis, outcome identification, planning, implementation, and evaluation"
"Collaborate with physicians and other healthcare members"
How does this even begin to encompass what we do??
If I had to write a nurse's job description, it would include: educator (to willing listeners and brick walls), babysitter (both adult and child), therapist, waitress, transporter, diaper-changer, medication dispenser, advocate, comedian, plebotomist, actor.
Job Responsibilities include lots of talking, listening, sympathizing and empathizing, hand-holding, butt wiping, wound cleaning and dressing, blood drawing, IV starting, providing food, withholding food, physically and chemically restraining, foley-ing, suctioning, administering meds PO, PR, IV, IO or via G-tube, rear-end kissing of patients, families, and co-workers, real smiling, fake smiling, inner eye-rolling, laughing, sometimes crying, assessing, documenting, running, walking, rarely sitting, barely eating, turning and positioning, vital signs monitoring, EKG rhythm monitoring, call bell answering, toileting, ambulating, ventilating, chest compressing, cooling, warming, hydrating, diuresing.
Applicants most also have the ability to identify the following odors:
C-diff
Melena
Raging UTI
Homelessness
Alcohol intoxication
DKA
Feet
Body odor/lack of personal hygiene
Vomit
Halitosis
Rotting flesh
The faint of heart need not apply.