I love and enjoy my bedside nursing, close pt contact, keeping up and improving my nursing skills. It seems though my personality is not suitable to this particular job. I am always happy at work, charming, hard working, ambitious, eager to learn. I am full of energy and always running around enjoying my pts and what I do.
This seems to annoy a lot of people. I have been in several places either b/c I am trying so hard to fit in (I was not born in the USA), or looking for better learning opportunity and safer practice for my pts. I always find that the MD's love me and build respect for me as an RN very quickly, as well as personnel from different departments. I then have some coworkers who love me and admire me. Then there are others who seem like they just can't stand me. They are rude, cruel, cold and even ignore me when I ask them for something. They seem annoyed just by my presence or words. They blow me off when I need help to find something (like now on my new job) or for them to do something. I am talking about some secretaries and PCAs. Seems my personality is to be helpful and welcoming to new people and everyone in general as well as been sensitive to people's sensitivity, it hurts me deeply when people do this to me. I feel degraded and the rest of my day seems to be ruined. I start feeling insecure, annoying and fastidious. with this lack of support and leadership, I feel lonely and uneasy. I love many, many things about this new job in terms of pt's safety, protocols and so on. I seem to have a problem with being accepted and respected. I sometimes feel that when I ask them to do something, my voice is too humble and almost intimidated by them. They, then notice it and take advantage of this.
I have not been able to change the way I delegate and demand respect for people. I am afraid that I am in the wrong profession or settings.
How can I continue to be what I love doing so much, and RN without feeling this way? Is there another type of nursing I can do that would allow me to have close pt contact and sharp skills with less of the politics, racism and personality conflicts?
