unhelpful supervisor

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RoaminHankRN

106 Posts

Specializes in ED, House Supervisor, IT.

"I never said menstruation is a "weakness", but I felt that your remark implied that you think it. Maybe you get cranky when your wife says "no" the night before, but if I say "he probably didn't get any last night" I would be inappropriate. "

RNPD, you were wrong on two points. First, what you felt I implied as I have already explained my feelings. Second, if you made the comment that I did not get any the night before. That would not be inappropriate at ALL!! Men and women get "cranky." Let's call it for what it is. To say I was that way because I am black, female, or catholic, that is a no-no. But to say someone is that way because of a mood, COME ON! Your moody, I'm moody, we all are. That is what happens when you make a judgement. Find out some facts before speaking. We both have our opinions and have spoken our peace. It does not sound like one will convince the other. I won't waste any more of our time on this matter. But I have one question. If a male coworker told you that you looked nice today or that the dress you were wearing looked nice, what would be your reaction?

Thisnurse, I agree with you! Most men (including me) have the same weakness. Funny, I did not find anything offensive or harassing in your statement.

Lost in all this is Ohbet... How have things turned out? Was it that time of month for her:)

RNPD

255 Posts

Hank, we will agree to disagree as it is obvious that we each believe we are right. As far as your question-if it were a male CO-WORKER, I wouldn't have a problem, if it were an obviously casual remark. If it were a male SUPERVISOR, it would depend on the context, and the pattern is also important. But I can tell you, since I have learned a lot about EEOC through my husband who is a representative for his company, that such a remark COULD be cause for concern. You are right that some people are quick to play the harrassment card-very often those same people that are intent on getting something for nothing. Your remarks could definitely cause you a problem if made in the context of you as supervisor, and even with peers. I know this because I have seen it. The scenario was exactly the same, only the words differed-as in "What's wrong? Are you on the rag?" This happened in my husband's place of business and the offender almost lost his job over it-and definitely lost any chance for advancement, although he was quite high in the company hierarchy already.

So take the warning for what you will. If people are offended by remarks you make, and the EEOC agrees that they are offensive, it doesn't matter what excuse you come up with. And if it can be proven that you did indeed say it, they almost always agree with the complaintant.

You might want to do an EEOC search-it really might make you see things differently. It is important for us all to be "PC", but especially when we are supervising others. Or you could learn the hard way.

Their website is http://www.eeoc.gov

RoaminHankRN

106 Posts

Specializes in ED, House Supervisor, IT.

RNPD,

Thanks for a spirited conversation.

Good Luck in your future endeavors!

Hank

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